Unforgettable Charm - Comments

This chapter was really, really good and I thought it was a good sort of dramatic. I enjoyed it and I'm curious to see what happens next.

I recommend checking your bold coding, because everything after "Seriously? I thought we were just going out as friends again. What do I do?" is bold.

WHY AREN'T YOU UPDATING!?! Lol. I seriously LOVE this story. Pretty much addicted. Haha ❤

Omfg, I just read all this story, YOU HAVE TO UPDATE SOON <3 omfg!

Oooh like the chapter! Update soon?

I really did enjoy this chapter because I liked the character interaction a lot. I think probably the idea of letting her leave on the bra for this scene isn't really realistic and instead probably would have been given something like pasties so she wasn't completely topless. I can believe the leaving everything else on for the purpose of shooting the scene though. I also am not sure how they'd be able to edit the scene so that no one would notice that she went from in a bra to 'naked' in a split second since she never 'removed' it, so that would be a continuity mistake in the film. So the emotions of this scene and these moments are spot on and very well done, I just think the logistics need work.

I walked to where we would be shooting and it was Josh's characters bedroom. <---Super duper minor error, should be character's bedroom.

"I was never mad, Charlotte, I get it. And I'm glad you came back" Josh pulled away and looked down at me. <--- Just missing a comma or possibly a period in the quote.

"I nodded my head yes and I walked in and he closed the door and locked it. <--- quotation mark not needed

I walked over to the bed and then I felt Josh's arms wrap around my waist, I leaned into him and closed my eyes. Then I turned around and looked at him, he took my chin in between his fingers and kissed me gently. <--- My advice is to change the comma before 'I leaned into him' into a period and then change the period before 'Then I turned'. Also put a period after 'looked at him' into a comma and of course change capitalization as needed. I feel like the sentences currently don't work as they currently are.

I knew we were only acting but whenever we had to kiss.for a scene, it didn't feel like it was fake. <--- comma before but and change the period after kiss to a comma and put another space.

My heart was pounding against Josh's chest, I was getting more nervous but I stayed calm. <--- against Josh's chest kind of confuses me and I'm not sure if it's needed, also the comma should be a semicolon.

I couldn't show that I was nervous or else we would have top do this again. <--- I think you meant to put 'we would have to stop and do this again' or something, but as it currently is, it's a little confusing.

We were acting right now, the kissing was yes, very enjoyable, but he was told to say 'I love you', I just assumed I was looking into it more than I should have. <--- I think the 'right now' could be substituted for something else, like 'that's all' with a comma before it. and then this sentence needs to be split up after that so that starting from 'the kissing'. The last part confuses me since she seems confused by the very fact that he said this even though he was told to say it in the script, so I feel like I'm not grasping what you're trying to have the character portray.

Josh looked at be intensely while pushing hair out of my face and then went back to kissing me again, and then Greg called cut. <--- quick fix, you put 'be' instead of 'me'.

I am jealous of her position right now.
Pun intended. lol

Lol DAMN... Hot... Lol I know Josh is hot and bothered right now.
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<3

Update soon, yeah?
I'm having withdrawals!! Lol

awh, the ending is so cute. but i cant wait for them to actually kiss (:

Awwwwww that was just too cute xD

haha update as soon as possible!!

Awwww, their hang out time was super adorable! <3 I adored it!

I straightened mt hair and applied some light makeup as well. <--- woops. Finger slip! I think you can probably spot it now. :)

"You ready for a great day?" He asked with a big smile on his face. <--- Minor, but 'he' doesn't need to be capitalized since it's not the start of a new sentence.

He cleaned that all of these places were the best and if I wanted something good, to always go there. <---- I think you meant to say that he 'claimed' instead of 'cleaned'.

"We spent all day together, and I still marshy know anything about you." <----- I'm not sure what 'marshy' is? The word 'barely' would probably be better. Once again, not sure though.

I have a mom, a dad dvd two brothers. <---- and two brothers?

She's so short, I'm about for inches taller than her. <--- four inches

My oldest brother Asked is twenty-nine. <---- Wait, is his name really 'Asked'? o_O

I've made sure I've kept in contact. It's get hard sometimes, with working and all." <--- I think this was supposed to just be part of the first set of text instead of left stranded.

Awe! Love it!
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<3

They are so cute lol
I wonder what the press is going to say about those photos...That will be interesting lol

Idk why but I keep thinking about this story and how much I want you to update lol I think it has to do with my love for Josh haha and how amazing this story is

Lol I can't wait either!
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<3

Awwww. I loved the update. :) I think they're getting cuter and cuter by the minute. :3

Their were a bunch of sets, and Josh and I were going to be shooting a scene in a restaurant. <----- There were a bunch of sets

People in the store came over to check if I was okay. And while I was trying to get up, my crush came over as well. He told me he saw me go down and wanted to see if I was okay. It was so awful." I said laughing and covering my eyes with my hand, embarrassed. <--- quotation mark before 'People' and a comma after awful.

"Well, I think today was a pretty good day of shooting. <--- forgot the second set of quotation marks.

Aw - hanging out is going to be great!!!! Update again soon :D

So cute. I cant wait for them to hangout!

THAT WAS SUPER CUTE!!!!!!

love it :D