Unforgettable Charm - Comments

love it :D

sigh...Josh is so....gah!
Marry me lol

So i just found this little gem! I hope you keep on going with this. It's such a great concept! xx

I love the new update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! update again soon XD

i really really love dianna -- i think she's the kind of friend every girl needs, especially concerning boys xD

I really loved the interaction in this chapter and it was a definitely important chapter. However, you did have a few of the errors we talked about before.

Or, or maybe he was confused, because he hadn’t been drinking at all, and was shocked to hear me accuse him of being that way. <--- only needs one 'or' and no comma there.

“It was great. I slept in, relaxed, did some cleaning around my house, shopped and now I’m doing dinner with you.” She told me, smiling. <---- comma issue

“Oh I am always willing to hear something interesting.” I said as folded my arms over the table and leaned in. <--- comma issue again

“Logan.” She said smirking. <--- And again

Dianna laughed, “yes, that’s the one. He called to ask about you.” <--- yes should be capitalized.

“I don’t really see anything between you two, but I sure do see something between you and Josh.” She said with a smirk. <--- comma!

“I really don’t think there is anything between Josh and I.” <-- Bizarrely enough, I'm like 93% sure that's supposed to be 'Josh and me'.

“True, you do need time to get used to everything. But that doesn’t mean that you should stop yourself from having feelings.” Dianna said, as the food was placed in front of us. <--- comma instead of period before the quotation marks. I just realized you might not remember what I'm talking about in the other mentions.

“Why do you think that there is something between Josh and I?” I asked as I took a bite out of my pasta. <--- Once again, I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be Josh and me, but I recommend asking a second opinion.

“Well, their you go, Katie. <--- there you go

“I don’t know about Katie, I know you want to focus on the movie, but just because you don’t want to have feelings for Josh doesn’t mean you guys shouldn’t be friends. <--- the first part should probably be changed to 'I don't know, Katie'.

Aw why can't she see that Josh likes her???? Haha I'm loving this story!

I think he was lying and was going say he liked her but got scared. i love it. cant wait for the next one (: !

Aw! He wasn't really drunk!
I kind of regret all of the swimming lessons I took when I was young, just so I could hanging around on beaches and get saved repeatedly by attractive, muscular men. Poor Katie, everyone just wants her and she just wants to work! Lol, thanks for the update, I was beginning to worry!

This chapter was amazing and the last interaction between them was tense and adorable and awkward and I loved every second of it. :)

But that was just because the director told us he needed to see it, we didn’t chose to do it. <--- we didn't choose to do it.

I didn’t want this to interfere with our work, I didn’t want it to ruin the friendship we were building. <--- should be a semicolon instead of a comma.

I needed to bury my feelings deep and forget about them, I just wanted to do my job, and I didn’t want my feelings for him to affect my work, because I knew they would. <--- probably put a period after 'about them' or switch it to a semicolon.

awww, i don't think josh came to her trailer to apologize! can't wait to see what happens!

jfksahgdrhf, omg. i cant wait for more!

Agh they almost kissed! Waiting for you to update is agony... so please update again soon! xD

I loved the update! It was great and I loved all the character interactions. Thankfully I randomly glanced at the recently updated story list because my e-mail is being bitchy. Blegh.

Once I arrived I noticed just how big her house was, excuse me, mansion. <-- Most of what I'm about to suggest isn't technically a structural error, I don't think, but it would make more sense as, "Once I arrived, I noticed just how big her house, excuse me, mansion was."

But their were a lot of people, and I knew that more people were at the party then I knew their was. <--- But there were a lot of people, and I knew that more people were at the party than I knew there was. 'Their' is only for possession.

“Hey Katie, it’s nice to meet you, I‘m Amber.” Amber told me as she shook my hand. <--- probably should be treated like the 'name/pronoun said' rule because it's part of the same general idea.

I chuckled, “Yeah, it’s true. I’ve done any type of acting.” <--- I think you meant to have her say 'I've never done' instead of 'I've done' but then somehow the word got deleted and it wasn't caught afterward.

"That literally, never happens. You must be a pretty great actress.” <---- "That literally never happens. You must be a pretty good actress."

Oh, I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” He stopped speaking, and his eyebrows moved closer together, showing that he was thinking. <----- You just forgot the first quotation mark on that one. :)

Her backyard was wonderful, she had outdoor lamps hanging outside, and had lights around her in ground pool and their was lots of open space. <---- there was lots of space.

Sorry it took so long to comment but here is what I got:

I am so ready for some serious sexual tension! And I'm totall interested in where this playful stuff with Logan is going to come in. Hurry up and update please!

Hi
I'm really enjoying your story
I love every fanfic written with josh
He is an old family friend of mine so it's always nice to see how so many people write stories with him
In them and how many people I reading them
Thank you for writing please continue soon

your storys so addicting! cant wait for the next chapter :)

Love it :D Cant wait for the next chapter :D

I really loved this chapter. :) I liked the inner conflict and the slight awkwardness between Josh and Katie. It was cute and it was good. :) Although I actually don't consider it filler since there was important interaction between characters. Then again, I don't consider any chapter I put out as 'filler'.

I sat their for an hour, getting picked at and had one girl working on my makeup and the other at my hair at the same time. <--- sat there instead of sat their. I know of a fun guide to remember how to do they're/there/their correctly if you'd like it.

“Me to.” I said excitedly. <--- Should be: "Me too," I said excitedly.

“Yeah, it’s pretty chaotic; but you get used to it after awhile.” <--- 'chaotic, but', if you'd like a fun semicolon guide, that I can actually give you because one of my favorite internet people wrote one up.

“From what I heard, he’s pretty damn convinced.” He said smirking at me. <--- I feel like I'm getting nitpicky at this point so I'll explain, this pretty much looks like it should be one sentence, so just change the period into a comma and then make it a lowercase h instead of uppercase. There are a few sentences that do this and I feel like a bitch copying and pasting them all and so if you'd like me to show the other ones to you, I will, but as it stands, I'm just going to explain it on this one.

Greg told me what he wanted me to do, and exactly how he wanted me to do it; and he did the same with Kate Beckinsale. <---- Probably just take out 'and' after the semicolon. You don't use semicolons and a conjunction.

ahaha i can seriously feel the awkwardness from that night in their conversations xDD