Unforgettable Charm - Comments

Wow! It seems as if they were NOT acting!

ahhh, i was convinced she was going to say josh's name and not tylers, ahah

Maybe it was just me, but I was a little creeped out by the whole making-out in the directors bedroom, while he just watched, lol. But I was waiting all weekend for this update and I was not disappointed!

I really love this chapter. The moment between them is really beautiful. You did a great job writing it. :)

Now for the constructive criticism. Some of the things are just minor errors like: Charlotte was a complex young women, now fully knowing what she wanted, and not understanding her own feelings. should be 'not fully knowing', unless I"m just confused.

Tyler and Charlotte. Keep in mind, that this movie was only going to be rated PG-13, so of course, the scene was actually going to be shown. <--- Pretty sure you just forgot to put 'was' as 'wasn't'.

“I see you went all out for this to.” Josh said smiling, referring to me choice of attire. <--- 'this to' should be 'this too'.

“Sure am.” Josh said, for the both of us. I took a seat next to Josh on the bed, and Greg pulled over a desk chair and sat in front of us. <--- Technically he should have said 'sure are' instead of 'sure am', since it's a shortened way of saying 'we sure are'.

Also, be careful about run-on sentences. The one I noticed the most was where she was discussing her family.

I always tried to keep in contact with everyone back home, I knew that no matter what happened with me and my career, I would always make time for them. <-- The first comma should probably be turned into either a period or a semicolon or add 'because' between home and I.

I saw the update e-mail while I was at school and I was like "DAMMIT!" but I'm kinda glad I didn't read it at school because I would have been just sitting there gaping at the computer like an idiot. I loved the chapter. It was cool because I kept thinking like 'what if I had to act that heavily with someone.' I know I wouldn't be able to keep my real life feelings in check with my professionalism. I mean, as teenagers I feel like that is almost impossible, unless you're a robot. So I was glad to see Katie realizing that, because that's what I would have thought. Anyway, carry on =)

I'm pumped to see where this goes. I like it so far.

Totally excited to see where this goes!

JOSH HUTCHERSON! I love this story so far. Josh is just so sweet and wonderful and aljdahfjlajas. I think I can see where this story is going but hopefully there is some dramatic twist and it'll be even more awesome. Update soon!

I didnt want the chapter to end lol
Im really excited to see how this plays out
Its so realistic and you are a fabulous writer :)

I saw someone telling you about errors, and I noticed that you posted a paragraph twice is chapter 3

So far it's still really good. Only noticed a couple errors this chapter. One of them was probably just accidentally left in from when you changed a line. “Well, I he didn’t give me his number, did he?” <--- accidentally left 'I' in there. The other error was using theirs instead of there's. I can give a helpful tip on that if you need me to, but I tend to wait for the author to ask for it now since I've been told giving a hint makes me sound condescending.

I effing love Kate Beckinsale so much, I pretty near screamed when I read her name. You have incredible taste in actors! I'm pumped for this story. I was a little hesitant typing in Josh Hutcherson in the Mibba story search, but I like you're writing style. It's not normal fan-fictony, it's seems more professional than a lot of the stuff on Mibba. Anyway, I'm excited for this =)

Love it! Update soon :)

asdfghjkl!!!! Update sooon lol
I LOVE JOSH like no joke
Ive had a crush on him since Little Manhattan lol
But I do enjoy this story so far. Its wonderfully written :)

I'm intrigued by this story so far. It's got good flow and I'm looking forward to what comes next.

Be careful with quotation marks and spelling. If you're not quoting someone actually speaking, you can use just one quotation mark. Also, be careful with there vs their vs they're. So far I've only seen one mistake with that though and that was putting 'theirs' instead of 'there's'.

First comment :D anyways.. I like it so far, looking forward to reading more. Mwuahahhah keep it up.(: