Woah, this was stunning and I'm not just saying that. I love the banner image first off. It drew me in immediately, but the ending was definitely the most amazing part. What a twist!
My only criticism is that the word down is repeated twice in the last line and because it's such a short piece, it just stuck out to me. Maybe change the first the first down to below or another synonym so it doesn't read awkwardly hang the same word four words apart like that, but also keeps the word just as is. Just a suggestion.
The syntax was brilliant and although this is so short, the imagery is very vivid. I thought the title was very eye catching when I first saw this on your stories list and I love that it's connected to the last line. This story is wonderfully written, as usual.
My only criticism is that the word down is repeated twice in the last line and because it's such a short piece, it just stuck out to me. Maybe change the first the first down to below or another synonym so it doesn't read awkwardly hang the same word four words apart like that, but also keeps the word just as is. Just a suggestion.
The syntax was brilliant and although this is so short, the imagery is very vivid. I thought the title was very eye catching when I first saw this on your stories list and I love that it's connected to the last line. This story is wonderfully written, as usual.