Blind Photographs - Comments

I like the concept of the story very much and your characters are really well potrayed. Very unique and interesting to read. I haven't got to the ending of it though, but I will soon (:

I guess I have to agree with the previous commentors that the chapters do jump around a little, but overall it was great!

Oh, and the layout was well made too.

Very simple and not too disruptive with the story.

Good job! (:

A very interesting concept you've got here! I am a huge fan of the Killjoys, and your story line and character caught my interest almost immediately. The last line of the first chapter is forever etched into my head - it's very true and fits the overall theme of life. I have to agree with Annabelle, though, it was a bit jumpy at some parts, but, it became clear after awhile or a few re-reads. Good job, though! Keep writing. :)

Hey, another comment swapper here. I did find some parts a little jumpy and confusing and hard to follow at times, but I liked the concept and everything in your story. I'll admit I was not too pleased with the ending :s I'm hoping that there will maybe be a sequel? It just didn't feel finished to me. I didn't get that ahh that was a perfectly awesome story feeling when you finish a story. It just felt incomplete. But ya anyways, really enjoyed it! Good job! :-p

Hi comment swap brought me here. I got a little confused through the first few chapters but i like how you've portrated your main character, shes acessible to the readers. You are a great writer and i started to enjoy the story the more i read. Sorry and good luck!

"Oh this is awkward" was my thought when this came up. I basically disowned this band over the Killjoy movement. Oop. So yeah I can't really give you much feedback on the story plot and detail wise. But it's good, I quite liked it even though I'm not a fan of the killjoy era. You write your main character very much like I do, little ironic and sarcastic quips here and there to show what they're thinking and give them attitude. Well done. c:

Ugh, Okay here goes nothing. I'm not a fan of My Chem. Comment Swap brought me here blah blah excuses. I'm sorry I'm not a fan of them I really wish I could actually give you some feedback on this. I really like the way it's written I'm a fan of this style (I read the first two chapters) Other than that I really can't offer anything I'm sorry blame the comment swap ~ Shelby xoxo

wow. I'm not particularly a fan of killjoy fics, but this one was very good in my opinion. I like how it was written, it has a fair amount of description and it keeps the reader intrigued. I like how it was developed, because the main character did change over the course of the story. It was quite an interesting piece, the only problems I found were mild typing errors. I liked how at the end you start to feel her regret even though she was sure she was doing the right thing. Now I'm curious as to what happens to her next! I wish there was more!

Hey, I from the comment swap and this is how I found your story, I usually don’t read Killjoys story’s but I guess that’s what comment swap is here for. First of can I say I’m not the biggest fan of Killjoy based stories, though I am a huge fan of My Chemical Romance, the first thing I would say is that I could not get a sense of the characters personalities and you should defiantly try and described them more than your story being so heavy in dialogue. Describe the weather, the scene, the mood, if there is tension, wither there is sadness. You do some have comic moments like “They called me Bat cause I can’t see for shit without my glasses.” I found that to be really comedic of you and I busted out laughing which caught the attention the people in the library, anyway the layout is also kind of distracting to the eye and it really annoys the eye, so maybe you should try a custom on and make a new one or choose a suitable one for you story in the public layouts. you have talent as a writer but remember that the description is just as in important as dialogue

In general, I don't usually like Killjoy stories nor do I really give them a chance. However, your story has a great potential to it, and it's a very good concept. However, I would try to focus more on descriptions rather than just have the chapters be dialogue heavy. I think if you do that, you could achieve so much more with it. I really do like it though--it at least looks like you put effort into it and it's simple layout is easy to read.

I must admit that I’m not familiar with the fandom this is written in, so I pretty much had no clue who the characters were or what exactly was going on. Though I feel like your dialogue is very strong and it was easy for me to hear the conversation between these characters in my head, I found myself wishing that there would have been a little more balance between the dialogue and description because I feel like this opening chapter is very dialogue-heavy, but it lacks description. Overall, I feel like this story has great potential, and I was definitely intrigued by the concept :)

First thing I noticed: the layout is slightly jarring. Switching to the original Mibba one to read. It's readable, but the bright background behind the text is a little hard on my eyes.

I'm actually very familiar with MCR and the Killjoys era, so I lucked out with this one. I adore Killjoy stories; I made a short film for mine. :D

I like her attitude and characterization. The dialogue is intriguing and the flow is pretty decent, as well.

“They called me Bat cause I can’t see for shit without my glasses.” I actually laughed at that. And by chapter two, I'm actually REALLY interested in this. I adore Grace and her character. I have a oneshot about her floating about somewhere, and I like the backstory you're alluding to here.

My one suggestion, other than the layout, would be to flesh out the description a little bit more. Not constantly, but it would be nice to have maybe a paragraph or two concerning the setting, just to create a visual. :)

Hello, great story! I haven't finished reading yet. So far everything is brilliant, I like the My Chemical Romance connection I was singing to 'Na, Na, Na.' when Dr. D was introduced. I love the dangerous vibe of hiding in the story, it keeps it full of tention. Great work! You're a fantastic writer :)

Well, when I got this in the Comment Swap feature, I was pretty surprised. I don't listen to My Chemical Romance, have no idea what a Killjoy era is, etc. But I must say, the first few chapters were intriguing to say the least. Your spot on spelling and grammar makes me so happy, as I am a total freak when it comes to proper use of them. Much approved :)

As for your writing, I think that it is excellent: emotive, straight-to-the-point, and it flows very well. I like that you do not get too caught up in the description of things: it makes it very quick-paced and exciting :)

Hmm, favourite quote would have to be:

''Radio had a way of worming her way into the front of my head, getting out while I slept. Who knows what she’d do. ''

So many implications: very interesting. I like the way you described it as 'worming'. No idea why, but I suppose it adds a more vivid imagery to the story, and the idea of 'worming' and 'wriggling'.

My only critiscism would be that dialouge seems to dominate your story. Although I said that the lack of description could make for a very good story, an overuse of dialouge makes it a bit dull to read. That is it for crit though, the rest is excellent!

This does seem to be developing into an brilliant story: well done!

So...I'm giving this new Comment Swap feature a try and this story is my first!
I must say, it's great that this is the first one I got. Now I'm not very familiar with My Chemical Romance fandom, but that didn't stop me from enjoying this story. =D
For example, the first person POV. I love the way this character speaks. In this POV, I really got a lot of Bat's personality and it really brought her to life. At first I was worried that I won't get this story without knowing more about the band. But I still found it interesting. There must be meaning behind the names and the world this story is set in that I don't get because I'm not familiar with it but I still loved the whole survival plot that I'm starting to see.
I'm really curious about Bat/Photo and her sister...what's their story?

Writing wise, it's well-written; excellent spelling and grammar, and detailing is very nicely done. I LOVE details; there can never be too much details in stories!

I don't think I have anything to complain about! First time, I think; I've done comment swaps before but I usually try to be constructive with positive and negative notes. But with this one, I really found nothing! =D

Great story, and please keep it up! =D

I want to start off by stating that I know absolutely nothing about this fandom. I do listen to My Chemical Romance but I was never involved in the fandom or Killjoy era, so if I state that I'm confused about something, this is probably why.

Everything I've read so far (up to chapter 2) has been great. Your grammar is quite good as well as your spelling. The story itself isn't hard to read at all (although it would be easier if I was in the fandom). I want to make a quick suggestion though, maybe for the characters thoughts, rather than just putting them in the single quotation marks, why not make them italics? It might be easier to distinguish from normal conversations.

The story overall is definitely interesting. Again, I know nothing about the fandom, but the whole futuristic, crazy government controlled setting is a neat concept. Its different than what I normally read here. Since I have school work to do I have to stop reading for now, but I'll probably bookmark this so I can continue at a later time. :)

This story definitely isn't my cup of tea. I don't usually read stuff like this. But that being said, this is really well written. I only read the first three parts, but they were good. You actually know how to spell and your use of grammar is correct. You are a good writer.

I love Killjoy stories, and the fact that you referenced the Joker and Harley made it even better. :)
It was easy to get sucked into the story. I'm only two chapters in, but so far so good.
I like your style of writing.

I really liked this story. I found to be engaging and captivating. This isn't my usual type of story, but all the same, I thought it was a solid piece. I'm not familiar with the fandom, but I still managed to take pleasure in reading this. You're a very good writer.

Very good story, I read the first couple of chapters and it is very well written. It is hard, sometimes, to successfully captivate readers with nothing but the opening paragraph but I have to admit that you did very well in that respect. Keep up the great work, it is very well done!

This was genious of you. I think you're an excelent writer and that you have a really good story in here. Also, I think you'r characters are really well defined and that's something I'm strugling with my stories. If you have any tips please let me know. Great chapter :D