I really like the layout, and the character does interest me. The plot also, is intriguing. However, I did see some grammatical errors, such as in Chapter 1, you put "seen" instead of "saw". Also, I felt that the character started off talking about herself too much. Feel free to let some of the characters traits come out naturally. The reader will figure it out from her actions, rather than her just straight out telling us she is a certain way. Like, if she doesn't like to lie, we will divulge that from her as we get to know her in the story. Otherwise, you've definitely got a good idea.
September 4th, 2015 at 04:20pm