Being Pretty Is Not Enough - Comments

@ synystergirl
Soon soon I promise

So far so good - update please

Howdy, I'm here from comment swap.

So chapter one was cool, could have been a little better. Lyrics being half your chapter makes it seem like you don't care enough to actually write. Also, Michelle was a little too much of a bitch. I know we aren't supposed to like her, but make her a little more discreet, yeah ? Snide comments about her weight, rather than calling her a whale.

Another issue I have is your lack of capitalization. Other than that, I think you're doing just fine and I'd love to see more of this.

Comment Swap here!
I'm not a huge A7X Fan but, I really like the idea of your story. Considering I was a bigger girl during my years in high school, I can relate to it. I love the emotion and the snappyness of the main character. It's great. I think, this is only my opinion though, that you should spend a bit more time describing the atmosphere and layout, as well as adding minor details, so we can really get the feel of the area and characters. Other than that though, great job, really awesome.