Just Last The Year. - Comments

  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    I love it. I still have a bad feeling about Tomas but it's nice how he's still there for Willow.
    July 27th, 2013 at 04:46am
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Damn cliffhangers!
    March 15th, 2013 at 05:42pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Dylan needs to take a chill pill! He's being a dick. I hope Cole's cut isn't too deep or anything like that.
    February 6th, 2013 at 01:44pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    I seriously hope like hell that there's a fight coming up!!!! But I'm glad that Willow and Cole are friends now. Sometimes it's good to forgive and forget the past. Hopefully someone finds Dylan soon.
    January 7th, 2013 at 06:39pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    And the truth with Dylan's hatred towards Tomas has been revealed!!
    January 1st, 2013 at 07:01pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Love the violence! Yeah, parties and fights don't always mix. I'm glad Willow stood up for herself the way she did at the end of that chapter.
    December 30th, 2012 at 04:41pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Well I guess that's one way Dylan can let Willow in. Hopefully they can work out whatever differences they have so they can get on the same page and be friends again.
    December 30th, 2012 at 08:33am
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Awesome! I love how she stood up to Cole on the bus and at lunch. And how she didn't let Dylan get the satisfactory of knowing everything about her and that things have changed and all. She'll be a complete badass by the end of this, just my guess, from what I've read.
    December 29th, 2012 at 06:08am
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Fucking hate funerals. I hate how she died, but I can tell after the brothers' fueding that it's going to get even better!
    December 25th, 2012 at 03:56am
  • Little Miss Dancer;

    Little Miss Dancer; (100)

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    Update soon please~ (:
    July 22nd, 2012 at 12:42am
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    I'm glad that Willow wants to go to a real high school. That's good for her! I hope she can get used to it.
    July 18th, 2012 at 09:03pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    You killed Casey! :'( I hope someone kicks Tomas's ass for what he did. I feel sorry for everyone; Dex, Willow, Kyle, Carmon, Indie.. all of them.
    July 2nd, 2012 at 08:33pm
  • Kissmett

    Kissmett (100)

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    The story is good so far. I really like Casey and I feel so sorry for her even though I don't know what any of those disorders mean. You probably explained them in the later chapters but so far I've only read the first one. Maybe instead of using caps to show an intense dialog or exclamation, you can use italics? I find that the caps are kind of distracting and hard read. And you have some run on sentences and need commas in a lot of places. Other than that the story is interesting so far.
    July 1st, 2012 at 01:58pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    I love how Dex talks so formally, it's awesome! As for them Casey and Dylan getting shot, well... I pretty much want to strangle Tomas for doing what he's done. I really do hope that they're both going to be ok in the end.
    June 26th, 2012 at 10:45am
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Yeah I think it's safe to say that Tomas has issues. Poor Willow, but I'm glad Dylan was there to help along with the others. I like that fight scene too, that went on between Dylan and Tomas and Willow.
    June 25th, 2012 at 07:24pm
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    That was a rather interesting turn of events. Tomas, stalking her? It's not impossible, but after what just happened, it could possibly be true. I was kind of surprised that Tomas knew so much about her. As for Dylan, well, I like how protective he gets of Willow. It's kind of cute.
    June 20th, 2012 at 10:36pm
  • AHLICE

    AHLICE (100)

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    Hello! This story has a great premise so far. I like the fact that it's in first person because I like having an one-way view of thinking; it allows me to think deeper about everyone's actions.

    I must say that I adore Casey's friend. She seems pretty interesting and full of energy. I also like the main character's Dad. He seems like a really kind, loving father to Willow (I also adore Willow's name. Always wanted to name my daughter that).

    Your writing is very nice and flowing, though there's a few things that you tend to do. Such as, you use a lot of commas in places where they shouldn't be; you should use a ; if you want to connect to sentences that follow the same topic instead of commas. All the usage of commas make the sentences seem choppy when I'm reading them in my head. There's also a few run-on sentences that I caught in the first chapter, and some in the second. But there aren't many so that won't be difficult to miss.

    You should also be sure to indent after paragraphs, even if it's just them talking to one another. For example, in chapter two it says “So which challenge are we going to do today?” Casey teased knowing I didn’t want to drink three litres of milk, colourful milk at that. “We have to do something..” You should indent after that when Willow says “Can’t we just skip one day? I mean shouldn’t you be at school today? It’s Thursday..” And so on and so on.

    I really like how the story's going so far though! The layout is pretty, although it kind of bothers me that there's a big block next to the text, but I can get over that haha. Keep up the good work!
    June 20th, 2012 at 04:10pm
  • AHLICE

    AHLICE (100)

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    Hello! This story has a great premise so far. I like the fact that it's in first person because I like having an one-way view of thinking; it allows me to think deeper about everyone's actions.

    I must say that I adore Casey's friend. She seems pretty interesting and full of energy. I also like the main character's Dad. He seems like a really kind, loving father to Willow (I also adore Willow's name. Always wanted to name my daughter that).

    Your writing is very nice and flowing, though there's a few things that you tend to do. Such as, you use a lot of commas in places where they shouldn't be; you should use a ; if you want to connect to sentences that follow the same topic instead of commas. All the usage of commas make the sentences seem choppy when I'm reading them in my head. There's also a few run-on sentences that I caught in the first chapter, and some in the second. But there aren't many so that won't be difficult to miss.

    You should also be sure to indent after paragraphs, even if it's just them talking to one another. For example, in chapter two it says “So which challenge are we going to do today?” Casey teased knowing I didn’t want to drink three litres of milk, colourful milk at that. “We have to do something..” You should indent after that when Willow says “Can’t we just skip one day? I mean shouldn’t you be at school today? It’s Thursday..” And so on and so on.

    I really like how the story's going so far though! The layout is pretty, although it kind of bothers me that there's a big block next to the text, but I can get over that haha. Keep up the good work!
    June 20th, 2012 at 04:10pm
  • maddisonFTW

    maddisonFTW (100)

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    Hello,here from comment swap.
    I admire your story and I really enjoyed the first chapter and I will be going on to read the next few. Keep up the good work and really good writing! I love the mysteriousness in the first chapter.
    June 19th, 2012 at 07:24am
  • Shadow14

    Shadow14 (100)

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    Just when I thought that Dylan and Willow were going to put all that behind them...
    June 18th, 2012 at 04:36am