Just Last The Year. - Comments

I love it. I still have a bad feeling about Tomas but it's nice how he's still there for Willow.

Damn cliffhangers!

Dylan needs to take a chill pill! He's being a dick. I hope Cole's cut isn't too deep or anything like that.

I seriously hope like hell that there's a fight coming up!!!! But I'm glad that Willow and Cole are friends now. Sometimes it's good to forgive and forget the past. Hopefully someone finds Dylan soon.

And the truth with Dylan's hatred towards Tomas has been revealed!!

Love the violence! Yeah, parties and fights don't always mix. I'm glad Willow stood up for herself the way she did at the end of that chapter.

Well I guess that's one way Dylan can let Willow in. Hopefully they can work out whatever differences they have so they can get on the same page and be friends again.

Awesome! I love how she stood up to Cole on the bus and at lunch. And how she didn't let Dylan get the satisfactory of knowing everything about her and that things have changed and all. She'll be a complete badass by the end of this, just my guess, from what I've read.

Fucking hate funerals. I hate how she died, but I can tell after the brothers' fueding that it's going to get even better!

Update soon please~ (:

I'm glad that Willow wants to go to a real high school. That's good for her! I hope she can get used to it.

You killed Casey! :'( I hope someone kicks Tomas's ass for what he did. I feel sorry for everyone; Dex, Willow, Kyle, Carmon, Indie.. all of them.

The story is good so far. I really like Casey and I feel so sorry for her even though I don't know what any of those disorders mean. You probably explained them in the later chapters but so far I've only read the first one. Maybe instead of using caps to show an intense dialog or exclamation, you can use italics? I find that the caps are kind of distracting and hard read. And you have some run on sentences and need commas in a lot of places. Other than that the story is interesting so far.

I love how Dex talks so formally, it's awesome! As for them Casey and Dylan getting shot, well... I pretty much want to strangle Tomas for doing what he's done. I really do hope that they're both going to be ok in the end.

Yeah I think it's safe to say that Tomas has issues. Poor Willow, but I'm glad Dylan was there to help along with the others. I like that fight scene too, that went on between Dylan and Tomas and Willow.

That was a rather interesting turn of events. Tomas, stalking her? It's not impossible, but after what just happened, it could possibly be true. I was kind of surprised that Tomas knew so much about her. As for Dylan, well, I like how protective he gets of Willow. It's kind of cute.

Hello! This story has a great premise so far. I like the fact that it's in first person because I like having an one-way view of thinking; it allows me to think deeper about everyone's actions.

I must say that I adore Casey's friend. She seems pretty interesting and full of energy. I also like the main character's Dad. He seems like a really kind, loving father to Willow (I also adore Willow's name. Always wanted to name my daughter that).

Your writing is very nice and flowing, though there's a few things that you tend to do. Such as, you use a lot of commas in places where they shouldn't be; you should use a ; if you want to connect to sentences that follow the same topic instead of commas. All the usage of commas make the sentences seem choppy when I'm reading them in my head. There's also a few run-on sentences that I caught in the first chapter, and some in the second. But there aren't many so that won't be difficult to miss.

You should also be sure to indent after paragraphs, even if it's just them talking to one another. For example, in chapter two it says “So which challenge are we going to do today?” Casey teased knowing I didn’t want to drink three litres of milk, colourful milk at that. “We have to do something..” You should indent after that when Willow says “Can’t we just skip one day? I mean shouldn’t you be at school today? It’s Thursday..” And so on and so on.

I really like how the story's going so far though! The layout is pretty, although it kind of bothers me that there's a big block next to the text, but I can get over that haha. Keep up the good work!

Hello! This story has a great premise so far. I like the fact that it's in first person because I like having an one-way view of thinking; it allows me to think deeper about everyone's actions.

I must say that I adore Casey's friend. She seems pretty interesting and full of energy. I also like the main character's Dad. He seems like a really kind, loving father to Willow (I also adore Willow's name. Always wanted to name my daughter that).

Your writing is very nice and flowing, though there's a few things that you tend to do. Such as, you use a lot of commas in places where they shouldn't be; you should use a ; if you want to connect to sentences that follow the same topic instead of commas. All the usage of commas make the sentences seem choppy when I'm reading them in my head. There's also a few run-on sentences that I caught in the first chapter, and some in the second. But there aren't many so that won't be difficult to miss.

You should also be sure to indent after paragraphs, even if it's just them talking to one another. For example, in chapter two it says “So which challenge are we going to do today?” Casey teased knowing I didn’t want to drink three litres of milk, colourful milk at that. “We have to do something..” You should indent after that when Willow says “Can’t we just skip one day? I mean shouldn’t you be at school today? It’s Thursday..” And so on and so on.

I really like how the story's going so far though! The layout is pretty, although it kind of bothers me that there's a big block next to the text, but I can get over that haha. Keep up the good work!

Hello,here from comment swap.
I admire your story and I really enjoyed the first chapter and I will be going on to read the next few. Keep up the good work and really good writing! I love the mysteriousness in the first chapter.

Just when I thought that Dylan and Willow were going to put all that behind them...