The New School - Comments

@ kathryncarlisle
You will fin out later, it's early days ;)

I liked the summary and it got me interested but I'm on chapter 13 and I still don't understand what the story is about or where it is going. Are we close to finding out what is going to happen??

*comment swap here*

I've been sent here for like three times, can't complain though. Haha.

Still love this and could not wait for more. I know just great things will happen. Keep up the good work and keep them coming.

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I gotta agree with the grammatical errors but since they mentioned it I will say no more. 
I actually like the summary though it is vague it got me interested and because you said co-ed roommates. That will obviously ensue a lot of complications and trouble. Haha. Well, get on with writing then and deliver us some more.

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I gotta agree with the grammatical errors but since they mentioned it I will say no more. 
I actually like the summary though it is vague it got me interested and because you said co-ed roommates. That will obviously ensue a lot of complications and trouble. Haha. Well, get on with writing then and deliver us some more.

@the4ponygirls. Its not pricey, but as I said in her first chapter, her mom doesn't really bother to spend money on her all that often. Therefore, its' the priciest thing she has gotten from her mother.

Start with fixing the chapter titles, toget them in order?
(Chapter 8)
Asuide from the few incidents, mainly punctuation, I can't really complain.
Now we know she like to be fancy, but isn't into goths?
She has a few things to work on, before she can life a life worth mention. which's not really your problem, but hers, since you're just writing the story, in which she is in.
Since it cover the time from when she woke up, to when she is about to leave the room, as far as I can see, the scene is self contained. Maybe you choose to add a few details, colours, make-up, or what ever other may hit you?
$100, that IS pricey?

the " round the song cant be done, since I didn't name a song, I named a band, I don't think there were 4 beds in the room? I think I have corrected everything you have pointed out, Thanks for the feedback :) and I'm glad you liked it :) x

@the4PonyGirls
What are you talking about with the 'four bed' situation?

(Chapter 7) Continuity wopuld demand that "Lessons-Taylor" is "Lessons - Taylor", since you started out, with a space on both ends of the " - ".
"Id" is "I'd", since you mean "I had", I presume.
A comma after 'emo'? then it is "I'll", since I read "I will".
Now you need to put " around the title of the song?
"am then" would be, *"am, then"?
"the girls bed" indicating it is a single bed and girl?
"Id" is "I'd", as in "I had"?
The final note, there were 4 bed earlier in the story?
Just getting the details right here.

I'd end this comment with a statement on the fact that I enjoy this latest chapter. Now I'll just have to follow where you take this poor girl*giggles* this was a new chapter, right?

Okayy I am sorry EVERY comment has mentioned the 'grammatical errors' I think we get it now! if you see further ones in future chapters mention them but we don't need 5 comments mentioning the same ones.

I like your writing style - it's very nice but as the others have pointed out, there are several grammatical errors but that's always fixable. You have a nice way of saying things, I can't really describe it, but I really enjoyed it.

Welcome aboard! :)

Comment Swap:
You have a few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing to horrid.
Your summery is sort of vague, im not entirely sure where youre going to go with that, but that could be a good thing.
The beginning seems a bit choppy, like you were rushing through it to get to where you were more interested in writing.
Hmm, this has to potential to be a fairly funny story, so it could be interesting.

So I like your idea, but there are a lot of grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors. The other commenters have mentioned them already, so I don' want to bore you to death by repeating them all. I like the names you chose, they're interesting but not too exotic. Go over this and try to fix what the other commenters inted out and you should be all set to go. I want to find out what's going on. Is it a magic school? Keep writing!

I like the idea of the story, and I like the summary. However, I found some grammatical errors and some spelling errors. For example, "discus" (chapter one) should be "discuss".

There's one huge mistake that can be easily fixed. I noticed that your "paragraphs" aren't really paragraphs. In order to make a paragraph on Mibba, you have to hit the Enter key twice. Otherwise, it doesn't count as a paragraph. If it isn't fixed, the story will get reported. Trust me, it's not fun.

I'm just trying to help you out. I'm sorry if I came across as bitchy, because that wasn't my goal. -A

I like the summary. I'm not sure, maybe I'd pick up a few ideas from this school?
"The New School-Lex" is "The New School - Lex" for the love of continuity?
(Chapter 6)
"I was sat on the floor" needs some reworking, all depending on what you actually intended to say, which I don't know.
"too pleased to be honest" is "too pleased, to be honest" for the emphasis and natoral rythem?
I hope I'm not out of line, pointing at the "nglish girl, saying "Dude"?
Aside from a few details on grammar, it's good.
If you feel like squeezing in a few more details, aside from that, there's nopoint of getting all wordy, just to fill out the space.
Since it feels as if we're really not into the class yet, I expect to see numerous of chapters coming up.
Unless you make it into sequels for different stages of the stay in this school.
Guess I'm looking forwards to learn how the boarding school is, too.

Oh wait, is there really no comment before me?