Ballet Shoes - Comments

Finally caught up with your chapters. :D I do feel some confrontation between Autumn's father and Max will be coming up. And hopefully we'll get more background with Autumn's love of ballet! Keep it up!

From the second and third chapter, I think you've done a good job as well. The car ride in the second chapter isn't an issue, but it's just something I'd like to see happen a bit later. But I like that you're starting them off as friends. I wonder how you'll tell us why her dad beats her up, or if it has to do with a divorce. With that said, I do like your story :)

From the first chapter, I think you've done a good job capturing the attention of your reads. I think you're going in a teacher/student relationship story, and I can appreciate that. It'll be the first one I've read on Mibba. My word of caution is that you don't take the interactions between them too fast; it's a common thing I see in these types of stories. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that pace, but if you wish to make it more realistic, then I'd pace out how Autumn and Mr. Lock interact. In the first chapter, Mr. Lock goes out of his way to spend time to talk with Autumn, a girl he just met. To me, it seems a bit rushed given the storyline, but that's just a minor thing. I am intrigued to find out how you'll incorporate Autumn's love of ballet into the story (and how she came to love it). I wonder if Mr. Lock will be attending any of her performances? My only reminder is the pacing of your story; other than that, I'll be sure to read this because I do like it!

From the first chapter, I think you've done a good job capturing the attention of your reads. I think you're going in a teacher/student relationship story, and I can appreciate that. It'll be the first one I've read on Mibba. My word of caution is that you don't take the interactions between them too fast; it's a common thing I see in these types of stories. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that pace, but if you wish to make it more realistic, then I'd pace out how Autumn and Mr. Lock interact. In the first chapter, Mr. Lock goes out of his way to spend time to talk with Autumn, a girl he just met. To me, it seems a bit rushed given the storyline, but that's just a minor thing. I am intrigued to find out how you'll incorporate Autumn's love of ballet into the story (and how she came to love it). I wonder if Mr. Lock will be attending any of her performances? My only reminder is the pacing of your story; other than that, I'll be sure to read this because I do like it!

I just finished reading all of the chapters of this story, and I quite like the story. I'm not usually one to like teacher/student pairings, but this one has got my attention. I think it would be nice to know how old she is, though. Because I Don't recall reading how old she is.

I would like to read more about Autumn, and what she looks like, the colour of her eyes, etc. I would also like to read more about her dancing, considering it's called Ballet Shoes haha. I want to feel her emotion as she's dancing, and read how her body moves. I think dancing is one of the most beautiful art forms, and I want to read about her experience in it.

Also, in regards to your layout, I think that it would be a good idea to put it into small paragraphs (such as I have done here) as it's much easier to read. I find that having it all in one big paragraph, I keep losing my place. It's much easier on the eyes, that way.

Other than that, I think this is an awesome story, and I would definitely like to read more. I will subscribe to it, for sure, in the hopes that you write more to it.

I like your writing style, very cute. It's simple but you get Autumn's thoughts right away and understand her completely. I enjoy your style of writing it's an easy to read which I adore and like I said before hand I think it is very cute. Though I do have to say that teacher- student relationships kind of rubs me the wrong way but that is a personal opinion. At first I thought this was more of a half-nelson type of story but it went into romance and I well it's scandalous the story. The story has potential and I think you're doing a great job with it so far. So keep up with the good work, though might I add I would love to see more of her dancing and her passion for it. It was brought up only once and it should probably be brought up more.

Oh and P.S.

Since he is a teacher he can report to social services still she still isn’t 18 year and get her father arrested or at least looked into the family. Haha yes I watch a bit too much Law and Order SVU but yeah. He doesn’t really need her to tell him what’s going down if he wanted to take matters into his own hands.

This is so cute:). Is there going to be more about dance, though?

:) I like this!! I like your writing style, it makes the story very easy to read and entertaining. And I really like the whole teacher-student thing going on, I think it's cute :) Your descriptions are also very very well written. Also, I love Autumn's personality :D all in all it's a good story, the only feedback I really have would be to seperate the paragraphs, they are actually stuck together. but other than that, it's good :D

I like your writing style. It's just simply amazing. It's simple, yes, but it's also perfect. You depict everything amazingly. Your descriptions make me feel like I'm in the story, like I'm there with Autumn.

And I love how you wrote Autumn's thoughts. It's flawless and just simply realistic.

I don't like the vibe of student/teacher romance in this story because it's just not my cup of tea. It's entirely my own personal opinion. But, that doesn't change the fact that I think this story has potential and I think you did a great job with it. ^_^

YES! Finally gah the ending of the chapter made me so hay :) :-*

I wish he wasn't a teacher, but I guess that's what makes the story intriguing. How old is she btw?

So, I know the feeling when you write a story and have a minimum amount of comments so I'm giving you one because I honestly don't see why its hard to type a few words to show your appreciation for a story.
To be honest, this story is lovely. Max has something about him that you can't help but like and I can relate to Autumn in quite a few aspects of her life. She's awkward, quiet, shy, and a dancer, a ballet dancer. I love reading about ballet because its something so close to my heart. Plus, I have a hard time finding ballet stories on here so I was pretty happy to find this one.
I love this, any idea when you'll update soon?

This story is awesome! I think you really capture her thoughts well:)

I LOVE the story, the way you started out. The way you give insight to her inner thoughts and feelings. My only complaint is the way it's written. I think that it'l be easier to follow if it's put into small paragraphs rather than choppy sentences stacked upon each other. But keep writing. I look forward to reading it <3

I LOVE the story, the way you started out. The way you give insight to her inner thoughts and feelings. My only complaint is the way it's written. I think that it'l be easier to follow if it's put into small paragraphs rather than choppy sentences stacked upon each other. But keep writing. I look forward to reading it <3

vVVv no they're not. Stop being stupid.
I really enjoyed it hun, it's good. Continue what you're doing :)

Oh dear I can't even read your story the letters are all on top of each other :o