Give Me Something to Believe - Comments

I absolutely love Blue and Cherry, so far they seem like an amazing couple. Danny...ugh where do I start at how much I hate him? Lol. The story is very nicely written and I love it.

I really love this story. I like how it starts off with the funeral and how fast Blue and Cherry become friends, it reminds me of me and my best friend Cx anywho I think you should continue writing it and if anything just be a tiny bit more descriptive but other then that I think this is great :3

Sleeping Beauty.. Not The Grim GoodBye... xD

Not even sure where to begin! Let me start by saying the first chapter automatically swept me off my feet and took me off to a land of brutal reality.

But that's good! Because you shoved it into my face with such grace and passion that I didn't want to stop reading! I read and read and read until I was just about punching my computer because you didn't have anymore posted! That's how much I love this!

Now, characters. Cherry: Love her. Blue: Love him. Danny: I know a Danny... *shivers* Ashley: My sister is an Ashley. As for Cory's dad... He deserved for that blow to the face to kill him instantly! Die! >:D

So, I'm so out of words that I can't really say anything more. Maybe that I will Subscribe and recommend and read on until the end! The ending is always saddening, so don't be in too big of a rush to get there ;) Because I might have to punch your story in the face and kill it instantly!! >:D (Not seriously. Hehe)

Keep writing and I hope to see your writing in the future! Good luck and don't give up! It would break my heart if you stopped writing this story :'(

-Kaitlynn, Comment Swap "The Grim Goodbye"

I may start off with the layout. Yes, the layout is catchy, a great combination of colours and I have nothing to complain about it.

The first thing that was going on in my mind was the names you picked for this story. They are all cute, simple and rare- at least to me, they are. I like how you start the story with the focus on someone's death, that was the thing that got me keep reading the whole chapters.

I'll just ramble on about what I think of the characters first if that's appropriate. I like Blue's personality; a rather patient and secretive one. Danny had said Blue was gay but I couldn't accept that just yet before he admit that himself in another chapter. To me, Cherry is one of the coolest characters I've ever known, she reminds me of my old character- funny, she also smoked cigarettes. Anyway, I liked her personality- the uncaring of what's going on around her.

Ashley was rather annoying. I don't like her one bit. I hope you'll make her do something nice so I won't have to go into the story and kill her myself. Just kidding. I don't know, I get all "ugh" for a person who thinks she is all that she is, if you know what I mean. I mean, it's not like she was the only one feeling sad. When Cherry told her off, I thought of forgiving Ashley if she realized that she was wrong but in the next chapter, she actually glared at Cherry? God.

I think Danny was gross but I liked the scene where he first met Cherry in his car. All that he said made me want to laugh which is usually a hard thing to do since I'd usually just smile when I read something funny. Nodding Danny chewed on his bottom lip for a little while. After referring to his house as first base Cherry just tuned him out. “You a lesbian?” Raising her eyebrows Cherry turned to look at Blue who shrugged. “No,” Cherry responded. “You sure?” Danny laughed as he looked back at her annoyed expression. “I could hook you up with some hot chicks.” This was actually very funny that I really did blurt a laugh. Some humor you got there. Keep it up because I love it like that. xD

Anyway, enough of the characters, I think I like chapter 2 the most since all the laughing with Danny. Chapter 3 is a no no because I don't like the people in her school. I did enjoy the part where Cherry punched Cory's father on the face. Strong for a girl, I might say.

Lol. I got carried away. To finish this up, I think this story is brilliant and not a typical teen story. I hope you update soon because I simply loved this.

Recommended. Subscribed. :)

This is for "Comment Swap" and is my professional opinion on the story with no influence from personal preferences.

Reading the first chapter of this story was very, Intriguing to say the least. I enjoyed the character design and the extensive structure of sentence and the way it flows like a lazy river. The funeral connects with alot of readers really quickly because most have felt the same way, or some in different ways. This story (based on chapter one) Appears to be a good start to a long line of chapters. I enjoyed reading through the story. If I may state my own opinion quickly, I would veer away from the "High School" Scene in the next story you write (Keep in mind I don't know what else you've written.) Otherwise, it was a brilliant story and i score it 7/10.

Keep Writing
-Zeed

First off, I love all the names in this, Blue is possibly my all time favourite name ever so I'm already excited before even reading the first chapter.
Okay, the first paragraph is so blunt, it works so well because it just throws you straight in there. Also, "Corey James Miller, another statistic, another sad story, another end." Love it.
For some reason I really like Danny, I don't know why, but you don't really see many characters like him in books anymore.
You have great sentence structure and the story flows really well, I'm excited to see where this story goes.

... I can tell you one thing, I don't like Danny! >_>

Nice updates. :)

This story really seems to strike me deeply, almost as if I want to give Cherry a massive hug, but at the same time run in the complete opposite direction to her. A very interesting story. Especially with the opening. Good luck on writing more chapters! I’m sure it’ll only get better!

...ew...Danny's gross D: Update!

I really like this story! The funeral was so sad and you did a good job conveying that. I feel so bad for Cory because I know a lot of gay people and it's sad to think that even in the year 2012 they can't be accepted.
It was a very touchy topic and you executed it well! I really like that Cherry is so accepting and you can really tell that Cory's death effected her.

Wow. I really like this story! Your descriptions are beautiful and make me feel like I've been transported right into the story. I love how you describe the emotions and they're totally believable. Sometimes in stories the emotions and dialogue and everything seems unnatural, and almost forced. However, in your story, this is not the case. Everything seems totally natural, and like I said earlier, I really feel like I'm transported into the story! Anyways, it's great so far. Keep up the good work!

Wow, this story is great. You have a skill and i can really understand what sort of person each character is like. I love how you've touch on subjects that are real in the world and you really should keep going, update soon too, i'm interested in what will happen. Well done!:)

This is a great start. I really like Cherry's character - she's real. You do a good job of showing true emotions and relationships. I interested in how this plays out, where you take the characters and how Cherry and Blue's friendship evolves. Keep it up!

This is good. It's a great opening. You introduce characters without really giving away too much of the central plot, which keeps us going.

I've never heard anyone refer to a funeral as a celebration except as a celebration of life before, so that kind of threw me off a little, but not enough to make me stop reading.

I really love Blue's name. Honestly, there's a short story by an author I love and the lead character has that name. I like that their names are unique.

I like how natural this seems and how that chick Ashley accuses Blue of something because when people are hurting they don't think straight and sometimes they jump the gun. It makes sense. I hope she calms down in a few days/weeks.

I like the grim opening to your story because it sets the mood really well for the first chapter as a whole. Your descriptions of the setting and how Cherry is feeling are very good and the story as a whole is well-written. Danny is an ass!! I like it a lot so far - keep updating!

First off, I love your user name. Nikki Sixx is an amazing person and bassist! Second, I really enjoyed how this story starts off. When the topic of homosexuality comes up, I feel like you really capture how some people react to it. I can really relate to how Ashley reacts at McDonald's. Overall, this is really good thus far. Continue writing! :)

I liked the beginning of this because it was realistic in my opinion. These things do happen and Cherry's feelings towards it were also very real.

I also really like your characterization. Your characters have very interesting personalities, which I think is hard to find, so great job with that.

Overall, this is definitely something I'm going to keep my eye on. Keep it up!

I really liked the way you began this. It was really realistic, especially the premise, seeing as how there have been a string of suicides due to not being accepted because of sexuality. It's a saddening thing, and that came off in your writing.

Cherry seems like a cool chick. I feel like there's more to her than meets the eye. Her friend came off as legitimately sad, which is a testament to your writing that I could feel what the character is feeling. Blue also seems like quite the character. I don't like Danny, though, and I'm rooting for the moment when Blue is away from him.

One thing that was a bit confusing was the point of view. At first it seemed very third person limited, but then it kind of switched to omniscient when it came to Blue's thoughts. That disrupted the story's flow. It seems that keeping it limited would be best, and allow some more mystery to cloud around Blue's story.

It's so good! I love they way you write and I can't wait for more! Update soon <3