First of all I think the subject you chose to right on is very intriguing! I'm a fan of apoctolyptic/ nuclear holocaust stories, so I love it so far. You introduced the story very well in this chapter and I find it great how you describe the world through the canine perspective. I also commend the way you began to develop the overall atmosphere; the tragic, destructive, and hopeless air you created really helps me to feel the emotions you wish to convey. So for that reason I feel like the atmosphere is one of the strongest points in the story thus far. Now although the setting is fairly good, I would suggest adding more to it. Describe in more detail the world the dog lives in, add specific details: such as personal human items that survived the explosion, skeletons, etc. Again this is just my opinion, you don't have to change it if you wish, however, I believe it would add more depth to the setting. Besides this small thing, I would also use the word "wolf" in moderation: don't repete it so much, and replace some of the uses with "canine" or "dog" and such. Anyway, that's all the feedback I have for you thus far; I really liked this story, and am excited to read more of it. Also as a side note, if you have time please consider reading and critiquing a small peice I just posted. It's the first two chapters of a story I am writing, and I would appreciate your feadback. I enjoy your style of writing, and I think we can both benefit from eachother, so any comments you make (good or bad) would be much appreciated! Thanks!
July 3rd, 2012 at 07:38am
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Now although the setting is fairly good, I would suggest adding more to it. Describe in more detail the world the dog lives in, add specific details: such as personal human items that survived the explosion, skeletons, etc. Again this is just my opinion, you don't have to change it if you wish, however, I believe it would add more depth to the setting. Besides this small thing, I would also use the word "wolf" in moderation: don't repete it so much, and replace some of the uses with "canine" or "dog" and such. Anyway, that's all the feedback I have for you thus far; I really liked this story, and am excited to read more of it. Also as a side note, if you have time please consider reading and critiquing a small peice I just posted. It's the first two chapters of a story I am writing, and I would appreciate your feadback. I enjoy your style of writing, and I think we can both benefit from eachother, so any comments you make (good or bad) would be much appreciated! Thanks!