Truth or Dare - Comments

I actually really loved this, it was so well written and the characters were easy to connect to or at least be interesting enough and hold their own in a short space of time.

Wether I hated them or wasn't sure how I felt about them at first, i'm glad she ended up doing the right thing.

It left me wanting more, to be honest not many stories do that in such a short space, the layout is really well made to. I plan to read all your stuff to, your new fan - Trevor.

I always hated truth or dare. When I played, I'd always pick truth. It's not that if I picked dare anyone would ask me to sleep with anyone, but I was always afraid it would be a dare I wouldn't do.

But it's good that she realizes she could never just do this for money. That hurting him means more than gaining popularity from Bea.

I don't like her, by the way. Messing with people's emotions isn't nice. It's not a game.

First of all, the picture makes me envy those girls legs. Bah. Why can't mine look like that.

Second, you have a really awesome variety of phrases and ways you explain things in this story! It really keeps it interesting and for that I have to say I'm envious as well :) Cool creativity on your part.

Third, a little constructive criticism here. It's a little confusing to have the only description of the plot of the story as the summary and not included anywhere in the actual storyline. An elaboration on the summary would be enough as a first chapter post or something similar to make up for this.
Also, some of your writing (where it IS good) feels a little out of order. For instance, in the first chapter, when Hayley tells the readers that it's easy to get the truth out of a Drunk Gloria, it would make cleaner sense to put that paragraph AFTER we see what Gloria's answer is. Just look out for those. Makes for an easier read.

But this was probably my favorite part: "He had no idea how much effort I'd put into dressing up and looking good just so for that little moment in time where his eyes would eventually glance upon mine and move on. He had no idea how long I'd spent pining over him like a love sick puppy." Because it is so true in so many real cases. Good insight description there, really.

Overall, I have to say this 'skeleton of a story' is actually feeling like it could be taken in a really cool direction, and I'd really love to know how it plays out :)

Hey. (: This was pretty surprising, to start with. Of course, I expected her to go through with it and then regret it later, but the opposite happened. It was pretty cool, actually. I wish I would've known a little bit about why she made the bet in the first place. The story kind of lacked those sort of details (and setting details).

As for the layout, I'm wondering where the title is? And I'm not usually one for such busy borders around the story area, but this wasn't too over-bearing, and I like that. (:

I think you're a pretty good writer. (: I don't know if I'd actually read the full version of this story, but I liked the two chaptered story.

For starters, I love the simplicity of the background, though I feel as though the title gets slightly drowned out by the busy-ness (I had a spelling lapse :P) of the border. I did notice that you don’t particularly describe the surroundings very much, but you manage to make it work, mostly because you’ve managed to bring the characters to life. Brava!

Truly, I can see this story having marvelous potential, and some time soon, I expect to see it in the top ten of Mibba. Keep doing what your doing love, it’ll pay off it the story remains as interesting as it is now.

Oh wow. I love the twist at the end. I expected something really dirty.. and it turned into something completely- well almost- innocent. I love how the girl has the will power to stop from doing what she wanted most. I like your style. (:

It is un-fucking-believable that this story isn't, like, ranked number one, or something. Seriously, its great. Funny, simple, witty, descriptive. You have a talent, and if I find out you let your talent go to waste, I will hunt you down. Go off and become a world famous author (because I know you can). That way, I can boast to everyone about how I knew one of the best young writer's.

Well, that's it for my rant. You should definitely keep writing! <3