Safeguard - Comments

I really loved this! First chapter and I'm already pumped up for the story!
You are a really good writer, they way you describe the scenery, events, her feelings etc. is really nicely detailed and makes the story more real..You gave us just a bit of Arias’ story and her upcoming adventure and then left us wanting more, clever, but I hate you a bit for it haha

Also, I looove the layout, is the little path in the background picture symbolic maybe?
Anyhow, can't wait to read more!! :))

First off- love the layout, but the font is a little bit too small for my tastes. Your use of description and imagery is fantastic and you can really feel the shifting of emotions as the smoke continues to go through the room, from annoyed to terrified as everything becomes apparent to her. I don't really understand the relationship between Aria and Poppy, but regardless, I like it, and the ending was a surprise to me. Really good job on this, keep it up! =)

Oooh your layouts are pretty :) The first one was cool but it was just hard to read. This one's alot better. And definitely keep writing this. I'm a believer of original fiction! :)

I like this alot for a couple reasons. You use alot of details that help create the scene, and I could see it all clearly in my head. Sometimes writers have trouble with that, but you nailed it. Starting in the action is a cool way to begin and get readers interested, so good job with that, too. The ending is a nice cliffhanger :) My only complaint would be the layout. If your story isn't easy to see, it will turn readers off. But other than that, great job!! :)

This was really good! I found the layout a little hard to read, though, so I read it with the default background. Other than that, it was an interesting story! I liked the note as the summary, because it's a good way to draw people in. The first chapter was pretty good, if not a tad bit confusing. I didn't see any spelling or grammar issues that really stood out to me. Overall, great job!

"The hardwood floor burned, layer and layer of wood caving as they were licked by the tongues of fire." - Loved your use of imagery here. This story is brilliant though I'm not sure I get what it's going to be about, I really want to find out. I couldn't find any mistakes but I wasn't really trying to spot what was done wrong. I don't think anything is. I'm intrigued, that's for sure.