Unwritten Words - Comments

  • foreversmiling2198

    foreversmiling2198 (100)

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    I will admit that I only read the first chapter, I would have read more especially since I am a Hockey fan. Its just the fact that their aren't indents or line breaks between paragraphs really put me off and made it hard to read not to mention its really overwhelming when their is so much text in such a small area. I know its a little tedious but when you copy your story on to Mibba you need to put indents at the beginning of each paragraph and press 'Enter' at the end of each one to create line breaks. That helps it become ALOT easier to read.

    You have some grammar issues and some sentences seem really formal, but thats totally understandable since your native language isn't English. I would just suggest getting a native English speaker if you can, to go over your story.

    I really hope you at least separate the paragraphs, so I can read this because it seems really interesting. :)
    November 14th, 2014 at 10:44am
  • leprechaun_katt

    leprechaun_katt (100)

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    First of all, I'm not a fan of hockey so to be honest, I have no clue what you are talking about :L
    But I have still read the chapters, and you do need to do alot of editing. Paragraphs together with speech look really bad because it is hard to read and it puts readers off. Grammar and spelling need alot of work as well so you should get someone to go over your chapters before you post. Please sort out your paragraphs and then I will start reading again.
    January 23rd, 2013 at 12:28pm
  • Capt. Morgan

    Capt. Morgan (100)

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    I really liked this story. I was a little skeptical at first because i am not a Boston fan, but this was written in such a way that I could overlook that! This story is really good and with the exceptions of a few words, I never would have known that English wasn't your first language. :-D Great job!!
    November 19th, 2012 at 09:52pm
  • LoveGame13

    LoveGame13 (100)

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    I love them so much, it's unreal haha. I want to know what your plans are for the spin off? Will you have Kara and Poubear in the background? I think it would be nice to see how you play into his trade. Even though I'm a mostly silent reader, you did an excellent job and I'm sad to see this end. :( But, I am UBER excited for Power of Memories!!!!
    August 3rd, 2012 at 02:34am
  • whoathere

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    I loved this. It makes me happpppppyyy haha :D
    I thought the last chapter was the end so seeing this today was a bit of a surprise but it was really good one. I hope the power of memories continues to be great!
    August 3rd, 2012 at 01:47am
  • chocolateshakegirl

    chocolateshakegirl (100)

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    This story is awesome!!!!! I stayed up way past when I should reading it, and I can't wait for more!!! :)
    July 30th, 2012 at 08:57am
  • whoathere

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    Awwwww I love Benny. That was adorable! He has to love her too, right? ..Right? They're the cutest, goshh. I'm hoping for another update soon! And you're really quite welcome!
    July 29th, 2012 at 07:54pm
  • donnaslistening

    donnaslistening (100)

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    You don't understand how much I love this story. It's just so well written. And Kara and Benny are just so great. I get so many FEELS when I read this. Okay. It's just awesome. I absolutely cannot wait until the next chapter comes. I'm literally SOOOO excited for it. Flailing like a fan girl. Very Happy
    July 29th, 2012 at 02:03am
  • whoathere

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    I started reading this on random.. I've never watched hockey before or really been around anything hockey related my entire life. So I just decided to read this on a whim, to see if I could learn something new. I actually really like this. I'm glad that there's more to come and that there will be a sequel. Great job on this! :)
    July 27th, 2012 at 06:34am
  • LoveGame13

    LoveGame13 (100)

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    Can they just please admit they're in love with one another? I will miss Benny this season :( Great story!
    July 25th, 2012 at 11:57pm
  • donnaslistening

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    As always, girlie, it was awesome! I'm so happy to come back to these after Orientation! I love both chapters. Kara definitely lied to Mika when she said Benny did nothing for her. She definitely feels FEELS when she sees him. Like when she and him are together in the latter of the chapters. I can't wait for the next chapter. Very Happy
    July 24th, 2012 at 03:15am
  • TheAntsInvasion

    TheAntsInvasion (100)

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    Awesome as always XD
    July 24th, 2012 at 03:05am
  • peanutcrate

    peanutcrate (100)

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    bABIES AND NOOOO I DON'T WANNA GOOOO And Tuukk's is so presh and marchy and Tyler
    July 23rd, 2012 at 11:00am
  • Bekabee240

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    They are just sooo cute!
    July 23rd, 2012 at 02:19am
  • bmm1024

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    this is getting so good! can they just be together already though! clearly they both care about each other :)
    July 22nd, 2012 at 04:20am
  • donnaslistening

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    They need to stop being all "it's not serious" thingy. They really care about each other need to just get over this mental block. They're just so great together. And even Carey sees it. Like dammit. That was so sweet of Carey though. :3 Steffi, I'm going to be at Orientation Sunday and Monday. So I hope to see an update or two when I get back. I'd love it. I'm so addicted to this story. Is it okay that I've completely fallen in love with a story? Because I've fallen in love with this one.
    July 22nd, 2012 at 12:36am
  • Dallas.

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    They need to get over the whole "not looking for anything serious" thing...I'm pretty sure Kara's reaction to Benny's injury proves that it's pretty serious!
    Great chapter!
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:12pm
  • toughenchilada

    toughenchilada (100)

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    :O my heart dropped at the end..haha
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:12am
  • donnaslistening

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    Oh gurl, this chapter was so good. Benny is definitely falling for her and wants hers. You're really developing the characters so well. I really love it. I always feel so sad when I'm done reading and I have to leave their world. I love it and you bunchs :)
    July 20th, 2012 at 03:40am
  • Bekabee240

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    Eek! This really keeps me on my toes! Good job!! :)
    July 15th, 2012 at 06:37am