Drifting - Comments

I love the idea of this story, i really hope you choose to continue it. I love the name choice Linc. this leaves readers wondering what will happen. Where they are now. Who they are what they have with each other.again i hope you choose to continue the story. On a smaller your first sentence is a little weird is thing suppose to be in it twice. Perhaps i misread. Any way it could form into an awesome hard to put down read if only the future work was put into it.

I really love the one line summary that you have. It’s very direct and grabs attention. It really sets an ominous tone to the story. I think jumping straight into the action was smart on your part and I loved the way you ended the chapter. I like the names that you picked for the main characters, they’re very refreshing. I’m interested to see how you progress the story. I noticed a few mistakes, that once fixed, will make the beginning flow better. For example, somewhere in the story you switched from the past tense to the present.

In this sentence you wrote this, which was in the past tense: The last thing happy thing Stella remembered was laughing at something Linc had said about the ring he had put on her finger that day.

Then a few lines later you wrote in the present tense: The next thing Stella remembers is screaming as a truck came barreling towards Linc's side of the truck.

I’m not sure if it was intentional, but I just wanted to point that out. Other than that, I really think you’re off to a great start. I wish you luck on the rest of your story. Keep up the great writing and keep updating! If you ever get the chance, you should spend a little time to add a custom layout. A layout really goes a long way. It can contribute to the story and give the story another layer.