I think you do a good job here! You pull the writer in, and make them really think in my opinion. And the layout of the story totally goes with it, which really sets the mood. It's clear the main character is in a lot of pain. And as for needing to write a depressing story, if that's what you need to do, then do it. Good job!!
Hey there! Thank you so much for reading, and for being honest in your review :) I'm having a bad day and feeling really down (which is when I usually start writing this story because it makes it a hundred times easier to write, and allows my emotions to come through -hopefully- naturally) but your review put a smile on my face. I'll try to keep your advice in mind when writing from now on, I'm hoping to finish this story soon, although I have two alternative endings and I'm wavering on which to use, guess I'll just go with the flow and see where it brings me. :)
First: amazing writing. Really exceptional. What makes a story for me in general is within the first chapter (shallow, I know. But I know what I want and I try not to waste my time). While my first piece of advice is simple: break up your paragraphs/sentences a little more. Write it like you hear music. Short. Long. Shorter, but not as short as the first, so on. Get a little jiggy with it. It sounds harder than it actually is, hallelujah.
It wasn't difficult to read. I'm sure if you've read any book out on a best seller list, with the exception of the greats that already practice this exercise, it's block of text after block of text. You get used to it. But imagine taking your readers on an impossible ride. Up, down, left, right -- you don't have to do this with content. It's seriously in the way it reads.
Positive note: the conversations ring really true to me. Like... I've had a few conversations pretty much almost word for word with some people. You're great there, and the writing/imagination in and of itself is exceptional and has so much potential to grow in some really amazing ways.
Also, not overtly, sickeningly prosey. Bless you. And thank you for writing!
Comment Swap Well I am definitely a fan of My Chem so right away I love the story. Besides the fact that its about My Chem, its a great story and I can't stop reading. I love the emotion that's in the story. It's an amazing story and I'll be subscribing and waiting for an update. Keep up the great work. Again, I love the story, it's amazing. It had me crying.
I had just started reading this, and, oh god, i haven't stopped crying!! This is an emotional roller coster, but i love it! I can't wait for you to update again!
It's an amazing story, and how much emotion! I love this fanfic. And I want it to be translated into Russian for the Russian fans, I need your permission, if you do not mind)
This is so fucking heartbreaking and gorgeous and SAD. I cried a few times, and I know it's only going to get harder for you to write from here on out... but please continue!!! This is an amazing story, thank you for writing this. <3
This story is so sweet...and bittersweet. It's slowly kills you with so many emotions or maybe it makes you more aware of them...I don't know. I just know that I have to take a few pauses to try reading without crying too much.
@ TYLER.F.T.W.W.W Oh my gosh, that's such a wierd conciedence! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, I hope you'll like the chapters to come, I'm writing the next update now, so hopefully that'll be up soon. I LOVE that song, its just so sad and always makes me cry. <3
I started reading this a few days ago and today, I got to chapter 10.. right at the end, where Mikey revealed it, a song (which is related to this story which I won't say the title of)came on Pandora.. RIGHT THERE WHEN GERARD STARTED SINGING, I READ IT. WHERE FRANK WAS THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, GERARD SUNG "I will never marry." WHY AM I CRYING SO MUCH!?
Asdfghgfdsasdxn this was so cute but knowing what's gonna happen kills me at the same time I have such mixed feelings about this story I love it but at the same time its killing me:(
I cried, and I laughed, and finished this chapter feeling better than when I started. I loved it! *is smiling hugely* Hey, look! *points to my smiling face* I'm smiling this time! Woo! Go happiness! *is feeling very happy now* And Starbucks really is abso-fucking-lutely amazing. (I should have mentioned that earlier, but didn't feel like the mood was right.)
@ xofrnkiero Awh, thank you, I'm literally gonna update again in a few hours hopefully, possibly faster depending on whether I get writers block in the middle of it haha which usually is the case. :)