She Will Be Loved - Comments

I'm going to have to agree with canadianrose regarding the amount of lyrics in the summary. I think you should only grab the chorus or the most relevant line of the song and put it beneath the summary. As a reader, I have heard the song before, but I have no real interest in reading the whole song. Another suggestion is that you use a custom layout, this will really boost up your reader/comment count. It is true that one should not judge a book by its cover, but most people do. An appealing layout will really take your story far.

Now, as for the story itself, I think it's unnecessary to place "~James Slater~" or whoever's POV it is at the beginning of a chapter. If you really feel like adding that, you could always put it in the chapter's description. On chapter one I couldn't help but notice you wrote head instead of heard. You also ate some capitalization. A recurring error is the lack of commas at the end of dialog. i.e. "You really anger me." he said. I recommend proof reading before posting, proper grammar and spelling is extremely important.

Overall, I think this is an interesting romance story and I think it has a lot of potential. Blaire sounds incredibly shy while Slater seems like an overconfident guy. I wish you the best of luck and hope you don't lose inspiration with it. Best of luck!

I’ll admit, I had a hard time figuring out what was really going on in this story, as it basically consists of mostly dialogue and little details. The summary doesn’t offer much insight to it either, so I was a little lost as I was reading this. I think you should go back in and add a couple of details (useless details, even; who’s hair is what color, what their dressed like, the atmosphere, stuff like that) and it would make the story much more easier to read and understand. Also, pasting it on Word would help, as you have a couple of grammar and punctuation issues as well. It’s nothing too serious, but you’d get a lot more readers and subs if your story was grammatically correct with the right punctuation. Just a couple of suggestions.

Overall, this was a nice little story. I wish you the best of luck with continuing it!

This seems like it could be an interesting story. I think there are some things you could do to spruce it up - ie, put more of a summary than just song lyrics, I find it hard to get into a story if I don't know what to expect and the first chapter didn't give me much insight either. I think once there are more chapters, I'll understand more, though. There were some grammar errors, nothing too serious, but you might want to write your chapters up on Word first the paste them on here so that's less of a problem. Just a suggestion. All in all, this story seems like it could be very interesting. Good luck and I hope you enjoy writing it :)