Rest Your Bones - Comments

You know, this was pretty damn interesting. The funny thing is, it's not normally my kind of story that I like to read but for this being as short as it was, it definitely did its job as well as it could. A few of the metaphors you used were a little hard to understand correlation to the situation they were pertaining to but like I said, I don't normally read these kinds of stories much. And after a few re-reads of the paragraph, I kinda grasped the concept that you were going for with it. Aside from the food poisoning one...that one I wasn't really too sure on why that comparison was being made. Taking the most trivial moments of just waking up in the middle of the night and turning them into a story was a weird choice that worked out very well! Best part about this, it's a story without any conflict, yet still manages to grab your attention. And that ending too! That little hint of magic when he realizes that she can pretty much feel him telling her he loves him without him actually having to say a thing. Just perfectly nailing the ending.

I would have to give it a four out of five if I were to rate this story. definitely keep up the good work.

This is cute, I love how you were able to cultivate a story within the simple moment of waking up at night. I especially loved that part actually, the part where he's thinking about how waking in the night is like moving to another world. Not only was it so true, but it was a wonderful deviation from the usual depiction of waking in the night frightened or otherwise distressed. Great little love story you've got here. Keep it up, you have a gift. :)

The layout of this story is very pretty and i like the simplistic nature of it. The story is really gorgeous and is so sweet. It's a realistic depiction of love written in a beautifully poetic nature. Absolutely amazing. From the title to the last line, this is truly a work of art. You get a recommendation from me:)

I generally liked this story. It was very simple, sweet, and to the point. You used enough descriptive texts to make the story sound beautiful, but not like you were over doing it.

I particularly liked how it was stream of consciousness mixed in with flashbacks. It was very artfully done and you should try your hand at it again.

Aww I loved the ending! This is so cute and I don't think I found a single flaw in all of it. I especially loved the little poem in the summary. I saved it to my computer, I loved it so much! I'm not going to use it for anything, I just want to have it there to look at every so often :)

Anyway, as you could probably tell, I really enjoyed this and thought I'd let you know that you're on the road to becoming a really amazing author some day!

Background
The background isn't all that eye-catching but it's okay. I like how you used the gray and purple.. Wouldn't make sense to use more of pink shade?

Story
I just want to say I'm a sucker for these kind of story. I really liked the love that just seemed to flow through every word, it just melted my heart. I like how you kind of bounced into it and how smoothly the memories went with the story. Over all good job (: You do have a grammar problem. You said something like this; 'You awake?" She whispered. It's suppose to be "You awake," She whispered. But that's all that I see wrong.

-from comment swap.
Visually, a great layout and a good title. I love the minimalistic, effective approach. You use really beautiful imagery and this sets your work apart – they feel effortless and yet still stop the reader mid-flow with the sudden surprising beauty of them. Really excellent work.

I loved the intimacy of this. I honestly felt as if I was tucked up in the bed with them. I liked their back story... just enough detail to keep me interested, but not too much to distract from the actual story, which is a talent. Great job.

I don’t usually pick out these kinds of stories to read, but overall this story was pretty good! I loved the layout and the picture that you used because it goes perfectly with the storyline. Your use of description and detail was amazing and the metaphors that were used were very clever, if I do say so myself. So, keep writing it! It’s a lovely story!

I really loved this line: "My throat was thick with all of the things I hadn’t said..." It was descriptive and telling and I just loved it. It was a great way to start the story and said a lot about what the plot was going to be.

"It’s funny what you realize at night. And not just any night time either. There’s something special, almost magical, about going to sleep and then waking up again to find it still dark. It’s like you’ve slipped through the cracks of time, and found your own place outside of this world."
^ That paragraph felt kind of pointless to me. It didn't really fit into the story and I felt like it was unnecessary, but that's just me.

I liked that this story told their whole relationship in a series of eloquently written flash backs. It was nice to see how there relationship came to be and some of the things they went through.

Overall, this story was cute and very well written! I really enjoyed reading it!

I LIKE IT EEP also the layout picture is perfect you're so good