I only have a few problems with this. One is the spelling, which is easily fixed. I just find it jarring to read spelling mistakes in a story that is written well like this. You pull me in with your well thought out writing, but I get knocked into reality when I hit a spelling mistake. My only other problem is that this is the third story in a row I’ve been brought to on the comment swap system that is in the vein of rape, abuse, murder, etc. I get that it’s real life and things like this do happen, but sometimes I want to read something that takes me out of the horror that is the real world. Not saying that your story isn’t good, it is (one of the better one’s I’ve read in this style actually), but honestly, reading multiple stories like this in a row is really draining and it kind of makes me go, “eh” when I start. Like, “oh, here we go again, more horrid things happening to innocent people.” But, in saying that, even though at first I was kind of like, “oh, more of the same” you actually managed to draw me and make me interested in what was happening. Keep up the good work and keep up this great story!
April 30th, 2016 at 07:57am