July 3rd, 2012 at 12:02am
Interesting.
You have a few spelling mistakes but since we're all human, it's expected.
For some reason it doesn't sit right with me... The fact that she doesn't show resentment to her father... Or that she still refers to him as Daddy and to her Mother as Mummy. It should have changed, atleast for her father to symbolise the way her thoughts have changed about her father.
You're slightly lacking in description, but other than that this is well written and the plot is good so far...
You could possibly make the main character a little more deep, because at the moment she's too shallow to properly relate with.
It is a good story just needs a little more depth and needs some grammar and spelling checks to go over it. (rapped verses wrapped). Nothing that is too hard to fix. You have something that could be good as you continue. :)