The Fisherman - Comments

At first, I was abit sad, because it seemed so plain of an opening page. But looking at the picture you used for the background, and just reading the prompt, I've already got a good visualization going on.

I was in awe the whole time though reading your story. The emotions were so real. I've never read such amazing descriptions, never read anything so amazing except in English classes. It's just marveling to read something so different on here. You're going to be a very important writer some day, with a tad more work :')

You have such a great handle on classic, gothic imagery.

"Wrinkles showed on his face where the skin had grown loose, sagging against the hard bone underneath. Even his eyes, which had once been a most vibrant blue, had faded and paled as the years had progressed."

Faulker and Poe would be proud. And I certainly didn't anticipate where you took the plot, very creative. I was expecting the fisherman to throw the baby into the water, so the twist and magical ending was so interesting.

One of the strongest parts of your writing is imagery- you hav such an eye for detail, and there is a chunk in the middle of the story with rapid-fire dialogue where that imagery is lost. If you ever make any revisions, I'd spruce up that part.

When I started reading this, I knew it was well written and that it sounded like it would be interesting, but I had no idea just how amazing it would be. It's incredible what you did with that prompt. This managed to be so unexpected and moving. Your writing style is beautiful and mature and your dialogue is perfect. You are amazingly talented and I hope you keep writing.

I will admit to crying while reading those last paragraphs. Everything about this piece of writing was utterly beautiful and heartbreaking. Lanna's insights into happiness and the need to let go were honest and pointed, almost harsh in their simple beauty. I absolutely love your word choice. Everything was so perfectly weaved together, playing into the magical, almost divine, atmosphere of the story.

And this paragraph, "The fisherman sat there for a moment, listening to the therapeutic sound of sea water crashing against the island's surface, before inspiration struck. [...] He closed his eyes for a moment, savouring it, burning it into his memory, and rolled the paper into one thin tube before dropping it into the bottle with the sand." was glorious and happens to mark the point at which I started to cry. The emotions seemed so real and honest, and it was so easy to let my heart go out to this tired old man who'd just lost something so irrevocably precious as a child.

The ending was beautiful, but bittersweet. Cissy is never coming back to him, but her beauty continues on, from sand back to sand, from life into new life. This entire story was wonderful. I really commend you for writing such a poignant and meaningful story, and I'll be recommending this. It's one of the best things I've ever read on this site.

This was beautifully written. The images I got from reading this was incredible. I could never come up with something like this with such a simple prompt. I love your very detailed descriptions and the whole concept of the story. It was very easy to read and very touching. Keep up the good work.

This was so sad, but I loved it. (: I loved the way you described the fisherman, always emphasizing his age, and the little girl.

I like the idea behind this, especially from a simple prompt like that. It takes a lot of creativity. (:

I don't have much to say, because generally I point out spelling and grammatical errors, but you have none of those in this piece. (: Good job!!

My god, you are a reader's dream. The visuals you get--the description of your character is breathtaking. I can see it all, how weathered his face is from years of his job, and his life, his faded eyes; it's absolutely lovely.

The only line that hasn't flowed for me was "He didn't, not needing to look in order to know the island's beauty." This piece is intensely beautiful, and that was the only thing I've even vaguely come across that's awkward or doesn't seem to flow as well as everything else.

Your story has a certain feel to it... I can't name it right off, but it's wonderful. It's such a sense of longing and endearment that comes with this, I just absolutely adore your piece. The ending was so very beautiful, I've always adored the concept that loss is followed by new life and you handled that expertly. Congratulations on this story, it's utterly fantastic and I'm sure I'll be back to read it just for the sake of how marvelous it is.

Lovely! I love the way the story drew you in, making you want to know what the fisherman was clinging onto, then all about Cissy, it made me want to keep reading and reading it. The description is good, especially at the end where I feel it fits in with the flow of the story a little better. Overall, I think this was really good, and I enjoyed reading it.

This was very unique. I really love your description, especially at the beginning. Every word had a purpose, which made the story even better to read. This story had such a professional feel to it. I don’t even have words for how good that was. The only thing was that it was slightly confusing with Lanna, but it didn’t take away from the story. If anything, it made me want to read more to know what the heck it was talking about.

Okay, I always start out with saying what I think about the layout, so here it is: I really think that it went along with the story. With most layouts you see it just doesn't flow right with the story, but this one did. Great job on that.
The first couple paragraphs, when you were describing him... Geez, it's like he was right there in front of me, or I was with him. I could see him perfectly with the way you described him.
This was just.. Amazing. It's like something I would read in my Literature class. That's how good this was. You used so much detail and the entire piece just held so much emotion, it was honestly unbelievable.
The end had me tearing up a little. I feel sorry for the man. He lost Cissy and can never get her back, he would probably be depressed for a very long while, but as Lanna said, he won't be.
This was just so amazing. If this is for a contest then I have no doubt that it'll win.