Seven Devils - Comments

  • squidward tentacles.

    squidward tentacles. (255)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    73
    Location:
    United States
    This is wonderfully written; and very unique for Mibba. I'm.extremely curious to know what happens next. You have a knack for drawing people in. I also don't believe I saw any errors outside of when you were describing the house. When it's a possessive "its" there's no apostrophe. (I'm a stickler for that sort of thing).
    I will admit though, after hearing the way you talk about layouts I was taken aback by this. It's so plain, and I can barely even see the title background!
    But it is a great story and I subbed, so I hope for frequent updates!! :)
    July 2nd, 2012 at 12:24am
  • spencer hastings.

    spencer hastings. (350)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    This is amazing. The writing is very different. I love how it's such a different style and how it definitely sounds like an older person is talking. I think you capture Miss Minnie beautifully.

    You really pulled me in, I can't wait to find out what kind of events happened. I can't wait to find out more.

    Some things I noticed:
    When he greets her as Miss Minnie.
    "Miss Minnie,
    should be
    "Miss Minnie."

    When he greets her as Mrs. Lockwood.
    "Mrs. Lockwood,-"
    should be
    "Mrs. Lockwood-" (But, truthfully, I am not sure if there should be a period. I don't believe so.)

    And you forgot a to in this sentence:
    "She got herself a job at the nearby factory working morning shifts so she could time it well enough to take us to school...

    I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a grammar or punctuation Nazi. They are merely suggestions. But your writing is extremely amazing. This story is fabulous.

    Can't wait for more!
    July 1st, 2012 at 05:28pm
  • permanentdeclaration

    permanentdeclaration (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    I m SO intrigued. Subscribed!
    July 1st, 2012 at 05:03pm
  • Dodger

    Dodger (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    Ireland
    This layout is amazing, I didn't even have to look at the summary to know I was going to enjoy this. I can't wait to read more!
    July 1st, 2012 at 04:07pm