Hi. From Band Fan-Fiction. I found your story to be quite fast paced, with many time jumps. It was a very quick read and you were very straight to the point. However, you left quite a bit to the imagination with very few/short descriptions, and were quite repetitive when characters were talking, and in general word choice. Your spelling was neat and I don't think there were very many mistakes, but your grammar is in need of a touch up. If I can say one thing, commas! They are your best friend, especially when writing dialogue.
Brownie points to you for the custom layout, though I found it harsh on my eyes and quite difficult to read as I got onto the later chapters.
Brownie points to you for the custom layout, though I found it harsh on my eyes and quite difficult to read as I got onto the later chapters.