World Traveler - Comments

comment swap keeps sending me here! I am sorry I keep showing up on your alerts! I am trying to write another comment so that it lets me move on, but as I said before I like your story a lot! Cant wait to read more!

Comment Swap,

Okay I don't like one direction so I am not goingt to tell you how I don't like the story line... although it does seem more original than other 1D fan fictions I have seen so points for that...

grammar is mostly corrrect but I would watch out on repeating certain things like brackets in the description, yes you only used them twice but because you used them close together it made it look a little cramped or over used, but well done overall x x

Comment Swap!

Normally not a big fan of One Direction, but this is a pretty good story line!
=)

Comment Swap :)
1. The ages kind of confused me, personally being allowed to do a paper route when your 7 (without a parent being with you) seemed unrealistic. The second thing (I had to go back and read) was that I didn't see that she turned 15. Maybe it was just me.
2. In chapter 7 there is a sentence that goes: "The only two differences his walls are purple, is his favorite color, and he only has one bed.” Between purple and is there should be a word like: Purple, it's/that's his favorite color.
3. There were a minor amount of word errors, but that happens all the time.
4. I like the idea, its original, and good luck!

Also, I love your unique story line, its good to know there are some creative people in the world who dont go with the same old story lol.

Hey found you in comment swap!! First, I would like to say I love everything about youre story except for the one direction part lol. I am just not a fan, but still that being said, I still really enjoyed the story and like your writing style. It was a litle simple but put together well. You switch perspectives sometimes so a little proof reading on grammer and perspective might do you some good. Overall I really enjoyed the story, keep it up!

So, I'm from comment swap. Anywho, even with the summary, I didn't know what this story would bring. So I read the first chapter, and I'm like "d'aww this is cute." and then I read that Mr. Gifford was a registered sex offender, and then I'm like "WHATWHATWHATWTF?" and just, ugh, oh my gosh, I cant. Anywho, back to the story; you have good description -simple, yet there's enough, which is something I like. Few grammar mistakes, those can easily be fixed. You really do have an original idea.
subscribing.
Keep it up!
:)

I got this off of comment swap. Its such a cute story and I love the whole world traveler thing. I'm actually not a fan of one direction, but this is a cute story and I am definetly going to recommend and subscribe to this story, (even though I don't like them) lol

Comment Swap! I really like your story. Very adorable. I do like your story please keep updating! Everyone makes a few mistakes so no biggie. You really should keep writing. I like One Direction so this is pretty cool! Please continue writing.

Comment swap brought me here.this is a lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalalaalalalala,alaalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalalalalaa amazing story

Okay so I'm from comment swap and I'm going to say you have a nice writing form. It's not amazing but it's way better than a lot. I will say you need something bigger to snag people from the summary. Summaries are better short and sweet. If you want to put dialog in the summary I would suggest writing a little summary at the top filling people in on what the story may have to offer, then putting dialog underneath. I'm not a fan of one direction at all and I'm sorry but that did turn me off from reading. It's a personal thing though so I hope that doesn't offend you.

Anyways just work on the summary a bit and don't be afraid to make your chapters a bit longer. "Age: 7" part 1 & 2 could be one chapter. If you wanted you could've just put some indicator that you were going into a different scene.

I'm from comment swap. Well, I have no interest in One Direction. I don't think they're terrible though, just not my kind of music. So, I read the first two chapters and I'll say this, you're writing is nice and clean. Everybody makes a mistake once in a blue moon, so that's to be expected, not frowned upon. I really do enjoy your writing, just not the topic. Anyways, good luck with your story and keep updating! :)

I have to admit, that I really don't find a lot of interest in this story. Unfortunately. I read this first chapter though, and your writing isn't bad at all! So keep it up, 'cause just because not everyone is interested in this doesn't mean your writing isn't good. It quite nice!

I love One Direction! I'm their biggest fan! No one loves them more than I do.
I love this story. I love the background, story content, every thing. I got here with the comment swap feature. This is good.

I'm not a huge 1D fan, but I listen to a couple of songs and I know all their names. I'm kind of weird in the way that I often end up reading fan fiction for bands/artists I don't really know :P the first chapter was really cute with the seven year olds, but I'm nervous now after reading the end of that! This is well written and I'm interested to read more (so I'm going to read the rest of what you have up now:P). I get annoyed with things like spelling but yours is really good, and your writing flows pretty well which always makes reading better :)

Wow, honestly, this fanfic waited on my computer for like 2 days because I was like "Really? I got assigned to a One Direction fanfic?" But this is really different than what I was expecting in a good way (that sounds terrible to say considering the whole sex offfender thing). I just really hope Liam won't turn into the next victim seeing how he was "no longer interested in Sam." This is very well written so keep up the good work! :)

I was just finishing reading the previous chapter and I gotta congratulate you and ask how do you write you characters. They are so well determined and I can never do that. I find it very difficult. Nice story and keep up the good work :D.

Well this was an interesting story to say the least.
Very promising at the same time, I believe this will be headed in a direction no one will ever think of.
I couldn't find any mistakes of Grammar or Spelling so that is good.

I can't wait to read more
Keep up the good work.

So when I started reading this I was expecting a cute coming of age story with the innocent twins but then I noticed you have Liam Payne in there so does that mean its going to be a One Direction Fan-fiction?
I'm intrigued as to what angle this story is headed because you are right it is unlike anything I've ever read.

Although I don't read so much of regular stories I have got say that I found your story really good. I thought it was really well written and I can see that you've put a lot of effort into it. I'm deffinetely giving this a chance and hopefully you update soon :D