Okay, in conversations when you have actions like "I close my diary" or "She sits by me" you don't use commas before your dialogue. You use periods. When you're using something like, "she said" or "I muttered" that's when you use commas. It's like, if it's something like running, skipping, hugging, sitting, ect you use periods. When you're speaking, muttering, hissing, growling, crying, you use commas. I do hope that made some sense.
You don't need the now in the "She smiles, now, causing me to smile as well." It's just awkward and kills the flow of your sentence.
When you're using "..." it's three dots; no more or less, there are some really nit-picky people here and I've known some other writers to get reported for it. Just a heads up!
This is cute so far, I like the closeness of your family. It's just pleasant and nice and enjoyable. I hope we get to see more of her sister as the story goes on. I wish you the best of luck with this!
You don't need the now in the "She smiles, now, causing me to smile as well." It's just awkward and kills the flow of your sentence.
When you're using "..." it's three dots; no more or less, there are some really nit-picky people here and I've known some other writers to get reported for it. Just a heads up!
This is cute so far, I like the closeness of your family. It's just pleasant and nice and enjoyable. I hope we get to see more of her sister as the story goes on. I wish you the best of luck with this!