Although I found no grammatical errors or spelling errors I don't really like your story, the plot isn't really exciting and your theme was a bit plain. Including you didn't explain a lot in the tale, like, you didn't explain why Lyssia's name was shortened because of her car crash, it was an interesting background story but most of it didn't make sense. I hope you don't take this badly because I think you could be a good writer and I hope you do keep writing, good luck :)
July 21st, 2012 at 01:02am