Merely the Shadow of a Dream - Comments

  • call of the wild

    call of the wild (100)

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    Comment swap, here! Like others have said before, I really like the poem at the beginning. It gives a lot of insight into what the premise of the story will be. The story is very good so far and the voice is perfect. There's an air of innocence that I really enjoy. Overall, really good job.
    August 22nd, 2012 at 07:39pm
  • The Authoress

    The Authoress (100)

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    Wow, your writing is so pure and innocent, it's like a young maiden's dream! :)
    I like your poem in the summary so don't be ashamed! :D <3
    I love this prologue, it's so unique (it's like a letter) and the descriptions of this boy adn her dreams... well, maiden and sweet-like.
    I love william shakespeare myself ^.^
    Please feel free to read my story "red roses, white houses" ... it's new Embarassed
    August 12th, 2012 at 04:38am
  • Her0ofTime

    Her0ofTime (100)

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    I liked your poem at the beginning of the story, it gives an insight into what this story may be about.

    I would suggest not breaking up the story like you have. It takes away the flow of the story by being broken up so much. I did like your wording though, and it would have flowed nicely if it was in paragraphs.

    I can't really say anything about the characters or the plot because this is just the beginning of the story. It seems to have promise though, and I hope you keep updating!
    July 26th, 2012 at 02:13am
  • Evil.Red.Head

    Evil.Red.Head (100)

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    I love the poem at the beginning in telling what to expect from the story. The idea sounds great, and I can’t wait to see where you go with this! I like the description, though there’s not a lot to go by yet it is still well written. Keep up the great work! I’m also recommending the story as well.
    July 25th, 2012 at 11:51pm