Well, I like it so far. Your story has a lot of potential. Friendly tip: Add more description. Make the story progress a little more leisurely. Also, Evangeline needs more personality - like add how she feels when Princeton holds her hand, does she feel unsure? anticipation?
How does she not know who Mindless Behavior is???? lol You should have put like she pretends not to know them when she says who's Princeton. It would add more to the story.
I like that you make Princeton a cunning type of guy.
Your story is great. I like where it's going! Keep it up!
September 1st, 2012 at 12:16am
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A Fake Reality Turns In To Love...
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Friendly tip: Add more description. Make the story progress a little more leisurely. Also, Evangeline needs more personality - like add how she feels when Princeton holds her hand, does she feel unsure? anticipation?
How does she not know who Mindless Behavior is???? lol
You should have put like she pretends not to know them when she says who's Princeton. It would add more to the story.
I like that you make Princeton a cunning type of guy.
Your story is great. I like where it's going! Keep it up!