A Simple Life at Hogwarts - Comments

Comment swap! But, I enjoyed the story quite well so far. I think the cursing should be slightly lessened, nothing drastic, but still. Also, you have a few misplaced commas and missing commas in your first chapter. Also, I'm a little thrown off when you use the word "Oi," it'd be nice to have some clarification there! In the second chapter, you have some misused words, just like you got in a hurry typing or changed thoughts mid-sentence. Like in one spot you said she instead of see and he instead of me. :) It's just small things, but it would make your story MUCH easier to read! Please keep writing. It is a lovely idea.

Hey, comment swapper here- I like that you're doing a twist on the Harry Potter fanfic and doing it with the kinds.

I read the chapter and its readable but there are quite a lot of awkward sentences and paragraphing, (As said below I think the swearing doesnt fit in if you're going with the style of the books)
I also think making a personal layout will look better :)

However, this is a nice concept and I think it has potential it just needs some tweaking.

I should let you know that you should include all the author's notes at the beginning of the story at the end, in the comment box provided for such things.

Make sure that every time a new person speaks, it's a new paragraph. Like this:

"Hey!" said person A.
"Oh, hi!" said person B.
"How are you?" asked person A.
"Just fine, and you?" replied person B.

And so on and so forth.

I always find it a little weird when Harry Potter stories have so much cursing. And especially with this one, there is just so much of it that it's really distracting from what's actually happening, and it doesn't endear me to the characters at all.

I like that this is set with Harry Potter's kids, it's interesting to read about them and it's just an interesting concept. I always wonder what life would be like for them, being Harry Potter's children.

It needs some editing, but it's very creative and you're doing a really good job.

Comment swap sent me here

Uh, I'm not into Harry Potter at all, but I continued reading anyways. Although it is only one chapter, I liked it. No errors, good writing style and you engaged my attention as a reader, well done :)

This is a good start. I havent read much HP stuff on here but, you can go somewhere with this. Just one thing I'm gonna nag about, you should put everything of your author's not in the 'author notes' section. It kills the mood for the read to see that first in a chapter. Other than that, take your time and never rush. :D

Comment swap sent me here;;
Uh, I'm not into Harry Potter at all, but I continued reading anyways. Although it is only one chapter, I liked it. I don’t think I caught any spelling or grammatical errors, so kudos to you. Keep up the good work!!! :)