Tongue Tied - Comments

this is awesome! wonder why she has a ring? update soon!

Just found this story and I think it's really good so far! I love anything that diverts from the usual plot lines.
I'm curious to learn more about Caroline. I agree with ThingCalledLove that I think she lost a fiance or husband due to swimming. Curious to see what you have in mind!

Wow, great start! The writing is nice and tight. I enjoy the descriptions and the dialog. It adds to the world building, making the story all that much easier to picture. You really do have a beautiful writing style.

The plot is unique, and I'm really intrigued by both characters. I particularly like the way you write Crosby, and how he is dealing with his injury.

I have a feeling that Caroline has lost her fiance, but to what I don't know. I'm still not sure how it relates to her swimming career. I can't wait to find out more.

I'm not a huge hockey fan nor do I like the Penguins (Blackhawks yo) but this was well written. At some points I noticed that it was a bit too descriptive and that it droned on in a way. All I can say to fixing that is maybe try to be briefer with your descriptions of things. Then again, I did only read the first chapter so that might not apply to the other chapters.

I think she had an affair with a happily married Michael Phelps, then she got pregnant, then had an abortion, then tried to kill herself in the water, and pooped. Nah, i'm just kidding.
I really think it was an injury. Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter. :)

oohh i hope we find out what happened soon.....I'm dying of anticipation here!

This was pretty good. I don’t really know who it’s about, but when it comes down to it, it was very well written and stuff. There weren’t many mistakes I picked up on, though because I’m pretty tired so there just may be some. Well, yeah, as I said I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re an alright writer.

Loved the update.
Sidney not being able to swim make me chuckle.
<3

not surprised he cant float - a lot of very muscular people cant float.

It is those of us that have a healthy level of adipose tissue that can float like a cork!

It will be interesting how Caroline will deal with her anger, and Sid in this rehab venture.

I am excited for more! :)

found it interesting that she took a baseball bat to the bleachers - and had to apologize on national TV for something she did. I guess her swimming career did not end the way she had envisioned.

So she is harbouring some deep routed anger - hmmmm same as a concussed Captain we all know.

Maybe sparks will fly! If not, maybe another baseball bat!

I love the idea of this story. Very unique.
Can't wait for more :)