Embraces the Night - Comments

Comment Swap
It's definitely an intriguing story. I mean, Brody being a shifter, Emily's allergy to men, the whole Astanian and Vulnus races...plus, i liked the detail that you put into the fight scenes. I was really surprised to find out that Brody was the brother that Rex has a vendetta against. It made me sad to find out that John had bone cancer, and wasn't going to last much longer; I could tell that he and Brody have had years of friendship, just by the way that they spoke to each other. Slade reminds me of ghoul um from lord of the rings, kind of a more screwed up version though. I say screwed up because of the description of what he was going to do with Emily once he got her...I felt sorry for him though, when Rex would beat on him.
I liked Wesley, and found the descriptions of his different personas funny; it was clever that he came up with the idea of transforming into an old lady in a wheelchair and with a colostomy bag, so that he won't have to get checked through airport security. i laughed out loud when he met Brody as Lea, and then he was talking to Brody in his masculine voice. I could picture this busty woman in tight clothes, talking in a deep baritone.
It is a really good story, i'd reccommend it.

@ MemeBatmansRobin
I'll be updating very soon! Most likely in the next week! Keep your eye out :)

love it! write more soon please?

I was intrigued and so I decided to give it a go.
You have a good story idea, but like others have said, because it's filled with grammatical errors and fragment sentences, it's kind of a put off and doesn't let the reader really get into the story. You get what I mean?
But if you just fixed these errors and possibly get a beta or something, that could really help.
Other than that though, keep it up, because this story idea is an interesting one! =)

I wish I had more time to revisit the story more often, haha. Anyway, I really do enjoy the concept of your story, it’s humorous with a funny perspective. However, I’m willing to admit that I am a bit of a grammar Nazi and my only criticism is proofreading. You do have a lot small wording mistakes here and there and the occasional run-on. It’s nothing a bit of editing won’t find.

So, just for future reference, proofreading and editing make it much more comfortable for the reader to enjoy so someone (like myself) won’t be nit-picking at the tiny obscure details.

Otherwise, keep up the good work!

love love love it!

bless your dear heart.. i swear if this comment swap asks me to post all of this on your story one more time.. i shall explode. like, you are going to get so many comments and are gonna be like WOO BUNCHA COMMENTS and they're all me like spamming the hell out of you and just ugh.. *cries* i feel so bad and i don't understand this dumb thing. i guess, to spice things up, i'll comment on your status. congratulations on your first time writing on here and your first time putting it pen to paper! that's always a defining and important moment! i think you are definitely moving in the right direction and you should continue because if you continue, you slowly get more mature and knowledgable with your writing and it becomes 9285r03298 times better. trust me, it happened and it still happening to me just because i keep writing and reading. it gives me the ability to learn and grow bunches in my writing and i think it'll do the same for you! sorry for the spam, don't hate me. <3

for some reason, comment swap is asking me to post again. i don't really understand why, so i apologize greatly for this, but i'm going to have to copy and past what i previously said. again, i apologize, but:

LOL OH MY GOSH. i haven't even read the story yet but let me just tell you, i hope it has a least a good deal of humor in it because the summary was so cute and unique that i just had to giggle a bit. like, omg that is the cutest little plot i've ever heard of. reminds of what some sort of movie plot would be..like a chick flick cause its that squeeze-your-cheeks worthy. the only problem i have is maybe a few grammatical errors here and there, not really a problem, and the title. It's like.. a fragment? Or something. Embrace the Night is fine. Embraces of the Night. He Embraces the Night. all of that works but.. Embraces the Night doesn't make sense. I haven't actually read the story yet, but i think im going to agree very much with losing control. because random parenthesis "..." 's, choppiness, and lack of correct dialogue absolutely just.. yes some of my pet peeves most definitely. i might still give it a read, though, because the plot is very amusing.

for some reason, comment swap is asking me to post again. i don't really understand why, so i apologize greatly for this, but i'm going to have to copy and past what i previously said. again, i apologize, but:

LOL OH MY GOSH. i haven't even read the story yet but let me just tell you, i hope it has a least a good deal of humor in it because the summary was so cute and unique that i just had to giggle a bit. like, omg that is the cutest little plot i've ever heard of. reminds of what some sort of movie plot would be..like a chick flick cause its that squeeze-your-cheeks worthy. the only problem i have is maybe a few grammatical errors here and there, not really a problem, and the title. It's like.. a fragment? Or something. Embrace the Night is fine. Embraces of the Night. He Embraces the Night. all of that works but.. Embraces the Night doesn't make sense. I haven't actually read the story yet, but i think im going to agree very much with losing control. because random parenthesis "..." 's, choppiness, and lack of correct dialogue absolutely just.. yes some of my pet peeves most definitely. i might still give it a read, though, because the plot is very amusing.

for some reason, comment swap is asking me to post again. i don't really understand why, so i apologize greatly for this, but i'm going to have to copy and past what i previously said. again, i apologize, but:

LOL OH MY GOSH. i haven't even read the story yet but let me just tell you, i hope it has a least a good deal of humor in it because the summary was so cute and unique that i just had to giggle a bit. like, omg that is the cutest little plot i've ever heard of. reminds of what some sort of movie plot would be..like a chick flick cause its that squeeze-your-cheeks worthy. the only problem i have is maybe a few grammatical errors here and there, not really a problem, and the title. It's like.. a fragment? Or something. Embrace the Night is fine. Embraces of the Night. He Embraces the Night. all of that works but.. Embraces the Night doesn't make sense. I haven't actually read the story yet, but i think im going to agree very much with losing control. because random parenthesis "..." 's, choppiness, and lack of correct dialogue absolutely just.. yes some of my pet peeves most definitely. i might still give it a read, though, because the plot is very amusing.

LOL OH MY GOSH. i haven't even read the story yet but let me just tell you, i hope it has a least a good deal of humor in it because the summary was so cute and unique that i just had to giggle a bit. like, omg that is the cutest little plot i've ever heard of. reminds of what some sort of movie plot would be..like a chick flick cause its that squeeze-your-cheeks worthy. the only problem i have is maybe a few grammatical errors here and there, not really a problem, and the title. It's like.. a fragment? Or something. Embrace the Night is fine. Embraces of the Night. He Embraces the Night. all of that works but.. Embraces the Night doesn't make sense. I haven't actually read the story yet, but i think im going to agree very much with losing control. because random parenthesis "..." 's, choppiness, and lack of correct dialogue absolutely just.. yes some of my pet peeves most definitely. i might still give it a read, though, because the plot is very amusing.

Wow, interesting concept. xD I enjoyed reading it, and I'm definitely looking forward to reading the rest of your story!

I think the plot for your story is definitely unique and interesting. Your writing style is a bit choppy to me. The random capitalized words and "..." all over the place didn't let your chapter flow very well. Also the parentheses were kind of confusing, I'm not really sure why you needed to put them in there.

Also, when you have dialogue in the story, you should start a new paragraph, it makes it much easier to read :)

Anyways, this is definitely an interesting story. Good luck with it :)

I loooovee this story idea! It's unique and interesting and it's got me wondering what will happen next. I adore it, great job. I also really like your writing style. It's not very often you come across a story that is about love, but love that just can't happen easily. Most stories start with love right away, there's no mystery. Therefore your story is quite awesome!! :D Love it keep it up!!

I so glad you like it!!! Hope you keep reading :)

I'm only on the second chapter and I love it. x3

Much more to come! I'm glad you like it so far :)

This sounds cool so far!
Keep it up! :)