Stony Park - Comments

So I had this as a comment swap, but it's being reworked so I dunno what to do. I have no idea. From the comments I’ve seen it looks pretty interesting, and I’d love to read it but, ya know. It’s not up. So…No idea. No idea. No idea. No idea. No idea. Okay, I'm sorry.

This is so good! Firstly, I love that your titled the chapters as to how long he has been missing. It really helped the reader keep the time and understand the extent of the worry from the other characters. I love your characters and the relationships between them, especially Milo and Tulip. I also like Milo's take on the whole situation, it keeps the story real and believable. I didn't notice any grammar errors..so good job on that :) and I can't wait to read more~!

Dear author, I have to congratulate you for this great piece of literature so congratz. :D The basic idea of someone going missing is a great idea that very few try to write about but you write with a way that makes all the parts of it realistic. Great work on the first chapter, from detailed descriptions to flowy dialogue everything is well written. Good job. ~Marian.

Dear author, I have to congratulate you for this great piece of literature so congratz. :D The basic idea of someone going missing is a great idea that very few try to write about but you write with a way that makes all the parts of it realistic. Great work on the first chapter, from detailed descriptions to flowy dialogue everything is well written. Good job. ~Marian.

wheeeereee isss daaa updaateee homieee ~*

omg please update soon. ive been waiting forever. i love this, its amazing! so excited for your next update!

This story is absolutely fantastic so far. I don't even really know what to say, but I am definitely subscribing. The writing is just plain wonderful... This whole thing is brilliant.

I absolutely love the reality of this. People go missing every day and writing a story about it seems to bring that down like a ton of bricks on me. I think Milo is a fantastic narrator/character, the way that he talks about his brother throughout is absolutely heartbreaking. Your writing style is great too. I actually got shivers at the last line of the prologue because it was just that good.

There are a few minor grammar errors in places, but nothing that a quick read-over won't fix. Besides, the rest of the story is so well thought out that it doesn't really matter. I think this is great, definitely subscribing and recommending!

godddd i love this storyyy i'm so excited for the next couple of chapters

This story is fucking brilliant. Thought you should know. Definitely subscribing.

This is really good so far. I'm super excited to see where this is going, and I totally understand why Milo is pissed at the cop. If I were the cop I'd take him a bit more seriously.

Layout

Beautiful and basic and easy on the eyes, so thank you for that. I've actually been meaning to read this story for a while, so I'll get through chapter one and two with my review! (I would read more but I'm getting kind of backed up on these reviews)

Chapter one

How you start out with all this feeling and depth to the main character? Yes -- I absolutely love first person stories with so much character and spunk and insight to them. And how the apathy towards his brother's disappearance seems more like extreme worry rather than apathy? Who knows -- I may be getting that wrong -- but it really feels like he's bottling up his emotions. I must read chapter two, because the way you began this is phenomenal.

Chapter two

Ahhh I don't know why, but I love how you begin chapter two, dude. He's so casual and chill and laidback, like his brother's disappearance is nothing at all. I have to stop fawning so much and just read it.

I know I should've been writing a review as I read, but I got so caught up in all the imagery, the feelings, the dialogue, and the overall realism that I completely forgot until the chapter was done.

I hate to be a dick-sucker. I really do. But I couldn't find anything to review critically on in this story and this is why I hate receiving good stories from good authors to review because there's fucking nothing to review. You are an amazing writer in every aspect, from what I can see so far, and this is pretty goddamn amazing.

My only critique: please keep writing, especially about them smoking weed, because I've never smoked weed in my life and I've never seen it in real life either, but I make characters in my story smoke weed and I need a realistic feel to it. So do this and I'll love you forever.

I only got time to read the prologue. This is a very interesting story, I like how raw and real it is! It's main focus on how the story is told and this is something you got down great! The first chapter is a bit confusing to read, but other than that the rest is a breeze. Especially since it draws you in like a fish and then you are hooked. :) good job and I hope you keep writing.

'fuck you David Hasselhoff.'
god, that left me laughing so hard.
You write his character so well.

Hello I read your story and liked it so much that I decided to write a review of it for the Mibba Magazine! Stony Park!

MY GAWD THAT PROLOGUE. I was just like the entire time. That was so pretty an dI absolutely loved it! I really like that this is told like a countdown, and since we know he was found 62 days later, we can kind of figure out what the pace of the story is going to be. Milo is a really awesome character as well. He seems like a lot of people I knew back in high school, so I like how real he feels! This is a really wonderful story and I'm glad someone recommended it to me!!

I love this.
The narrator is great. He sounds exactly like I would imagine an eighteen year old boy who just graduated high school sounds like and the fact he is always high or wanting to get high is amusing!
The relationship between himself and Andy seems really sweet. You can hear the emotion in his voice when he thinks about his brother, whether it's when he's talking about their relationship which is obviously very close and then when he thinks about being the 'annoying little brother' which is cute and you can sense his insecurity. Also, his worry comes through really nicely...even though Andy disappears now and again, he just has the feeling this time is different.
The relationship with Tulip is nice as well and may I just say I love the name Tulip for a guy. Top-notch.
The last line of the prologue killed me...I just loved it and it made me want to keep reading and really drew me in!

I love this.
The narrator is great. He sounds exactly like I would imagine an eighteen year old boy who just graduated high school sounds like and the fact he is always high or wanting to get high is amusing!
The relationship between himself and Andy seems really sweet. You can hear the emotion in his voice when he thinks about his brother, whether it's when he's talking about their relationship which is obviously very close and then when he thinks about being the 'annoying little brother' which is cute and you can sense his insecurity. Also, his worry comes through really nicely...even though Andy disappears now and again, he just has the feeling this time is different.
The relationship with Tulip is nice as well and may I just say I love the name Tulip for a guy. Top-notch.
The last line of the prologue killed me...I just loved it and it made me want to keep reading and really drew me in!

Wow this is amazing!
the last line is powerful, and i can totally relate somewhat to this my brother has run away before and it took 2 days to find him, those days were so long. This is really good and I'll definitely be reading more , oh this is from comment swap by the way!

I was brought here via comment swap!

Quote

I wonder how cold he is.

I shit you not as I say that that last sentence gave me goosebumps.

Oh man this idea of yours needs to be updated some more. I loved it. I'm pretty much on the edge of my seat, I want to know what happened to Andy. Ugh. You gotta love how they were all saying that he probably died or something, and now that Milo can't find his older brother...such pain! So I really love this. The details, the way the character speaks and thinks, I fucking love it! I really hope you update this soon! Or sometime.

I'm definitely recommending.