Lucid - Comments

I have tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my skin, that is the pure beauty of this. This is... wow. I can't even explain. The atmosphere makes you glued to the story. The descriptions don't paint the picture, they pull you into the story.

I am in love with this right now. It's almost poetic in itself, the way that it is written conveys not only the wishfulness of the narator but the longing, the happiness that they are together, then waking up to the cold hollow truth that it was all a dream. This is what writing is all about, being able to express a story you've made up or experienced yourself in a way that can grab the reader and make them understand what you're trying to say. Outstanding.

"It’s always different though, the décor. This mind of mine isn’t quite capable of dreaming up his actual house so it scuffs around, different every time. Hoping that with enough trial and error, it’ll get it right eventually."

That's awesome writing. I picked this paragraph to quote because I think it embodies the narrative voice you nailed so well in this piece, and I love that this all came about because of a dream =]

Alright so I will start with the layout as weird as that is, but it is very easy to make a bad layout, but I liked this one although I dislike the color gray it somehow worked with the story and the picture is a good one though I wish it didn't feel as if it was cut off.
The actual story:
it's very well written no doubt about it and I like the plot because it's very sweet and honest in a way. It is a dream yet it is realistic enough, but not to the point where it might as well be real which I love because I realize it is hard to do. I also love the details because in some stories there are too many details and in others there aren't enough which is also irritating. Also while I'm talking about details I want to say you incorporate yours nicely! I hate reading a story where they write a few paragraphs of just the details of the room for example because yes describe it a bit but don't let it ruin the flow of the story, paint a picture for me but let me chose the ultimate details. It also flowed very well and I liked how it started with a this is the end, kind of like how the Odyssey starts if you have ever read it... it's a classic not that I recommend it...
great story and good luck in our contest :)

I like the story, other than the format it's written in. (Sorta like you wrote it like you'd tell someone, but that's probably on purpose, yeah?)

Other than that, it was fantastic, and the title is pretty cool.

The part when the main character (or you) was reading, and time seemed to fast forward seemed pretty realistic, and it usually happens to me all the time.

Though, I don't read stories like this much, I liked yours. :D

This is very well written, although I found some flaws.

Don't start a sentace with "and, or, because" excetera.

I love your title (I love one worded titles!) but I laughed at the irony when I looked up the word Lucid because I didn't know what the word meant.

When you started off with your story, you said "this is one of those stories" by saying this you're talking about the past if the "I" means the character. After that sentance the rest of it should have been in past tense unless you as the writer was saying "this is one of those stories". If you were saying as a writer it may confuse the readers. I think you should change it (but everyone has their own opinions right?)

Other than that I really liked it!

This was so beautiful it actually brought tears to my eyes!
You're such a talented writer, never ever stop.

Comment swap sent me to this amazingness
I absolutely love it, everything from the way you 'spoiled' the surprise to the ending to just everything
I can't even say how much this touched me
I can't judge from just one piece, but i'd say you're an amazing writer, and it helps that it's so personal
Anyway, love your style and I think I'll go check out that poem =)