I hope that you update this. I just found this story and I love it. Also the layout is pretty and easy to read.
September 18th, 2013 at 02:39am
The Lonely - Comments
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Awesome!!! I'm subscribed.... update soon! I mean it this is just amazing!!November 26th, 2012 at 06:10am
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The update was amazing! I absolutely adore it! Can't wait to read more!November 15th, 2012 at 04:24am
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I LOVE IT! I ADORE IT!November 15th, 2012 at 02:35am
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I adore this.
I'm trying to pace myself here, because if I just delve straight into the awesomeness of your story I'll end up being all rambly. So let's do this one block at a time.
Allonsy! :3
Banner and Layout:
This is just The gorgeousness. It's so simple and yet so beautiful. The background colour you chose is gorgeous. The banner is, once again simplistic but in a very very good way. I think the lone feet really emphasize the title of the story, and the general loneliness of Melody. It really succeeded in drawing the reader in. c:
Summary:
The summary is very alluring, I love it. Especially this line:
Maybe she finds someone just as lonely as she is; maybe even more.
I like the idea of two lonely souls meeting one another. It reminds me of the oxymoron 'Alone Together', and it is overall quite a beautiful image. And of course I got really excited when I realized that you mentioned the Doctor in the summary c:
It's also really informative, which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the point of view. This is purely my opinion, but I prefer to include excerpts of the story in my summary, just to give a reader a taster.
But that's probably because I am so crap at writing summaries. Seriously, It's ridiculous. And you're so good at it, all the information is so concise and as I've mentioned, the last line is very poetic and emotive and just lovely.
Chapter One:
I like the prologue vibe that you get when reading the first chapter, what with Melody describing her life before she met the Doctor. It gives off a very fairy-tale sort of atmosphere, which may sound weird but it is most definitely a compliment.
And of course, it got me really apprehensive for the appearance of The Doctor.
“Those any good?” A voice rang, dragging my attention from my beloved chips.
I looked up, seeing a man with a spiky, brown hairdo. He was wearing a suit with a trench coat over it with a pair of converse to call the outfit casual. I looked back down to my chips, noticing that they were almost gone.
I nodded while saying, “They’re fantastic, actually.” I gave the stranger a smile before lifting the paper basket up. He smiled back before taking two chips in his hands and popping them in his mouth. He made a face of approval.
I love that they met over chips. :3 Who could forget both 9 and 10's love of chips? (I don't know if 11 likes them). It's just a really good way to introduce him, I think, because it reminds the reader of the TV show a little and that brings all the nostalgia.
I adore how you relate some of The Doctor's actions to what he does in the television series, and yet you still manage to make this story completely original. It's fantastic.
I also love how you portray the Doctor. You do it really well, and I find myself smiling when I read it because some of the scenarios are just so funny.
I picked one of them up. They were still warm, which told me that they were freshly cooked. I smiled and started to talk a bite when the door flew open and the cookie was slapped out of my hand.
I burst out laughing. It's just something that the Doctor would really do, and I can imagine it really vividly and I'm just dying of laughter because poor Melody :D Even though the cookie is poisonous...
I tilted my head to the side as a ‘wanna bet?’ look flashed across my face. He looked back at me and said, “Fine. Sweet Mrs. Jenkins is actually an alien from another planet and is trying to poison young adult females, like yourself, so they become her species’ slaves.”
I gapped at him for a moment before nodding my head, “You’re right. I don’t believe you.”
:D After reading that pretty adorable paragraph, I am now officially excited for the next chapter, and the brilliant things that are about to commence.
This is just fabulous, darling. Subscribed and Recommended, update soon!
November 10th, 2012 at 04:27pm -
I totally love this so far! I think the writing flows really nicely and I'm so excited to hear what happens next!October 28th, 2012 at 10:58pm
