Queen of the World - Comments

I read Sugar Pink through comment swap the other day, and I had to read this story because Elle's character intrigued me so much! I wasn't disappointed by this story of her either. I really can't wait to see what you do with Elle.

I really loved this story. It was such an ordinary scene, like the one in Sugar Pink, but you're writing turned it into such a beautiful scene, and such a great story. Your dialogue was great, and said just the right things! It was just a great story overall. When I commented on Sugar Pink I said I'd like to get inside Elle's head, but now I am not sure which would give me more detail her eyes, or the people she is around.

You are a great writer, don't be surprised if you get more comments from me in the future for other stories!

Hello I am from comment swap.

This is just magnificent! So beautifully written. I love the message you are portraying in your story and it was just wonderful to read. I enjoyed it very much.

Your dialogue was great, it was in the right format and your grammar was excellent too.

I wished you could have more description, and some of your sentances were off (well to me it was but everyone has their own oppinion).

Your sentances were gramatically correct and flawless by the way. I recomend this and thank you for letting me enjoy such amazing work!

I really liked this one-shot, really. It was so nice and straight to the point. The similes you used were very great, too, and the way you portrayed both of your characters made them come out alive. They weren't two dimensional like a lot of characters I see on this site. I love the name, Elle, also.
Oh and the way you writ this reminded me of Looking For Alaska, Elle being that a persona-ish thing for Alaska. (If you've read the book. If you haven't, you should, it's really amazing,)
Very nice indeedly do.

This one-shot was just so beautiful. Firstly, the layout was so nice and fitting, although it seemed to give off a kind of mysterious vibe to it that lets you know that there's so much more to the story. The storyline is so unique and original--I love the way you portrayed Elle, how she's so imperfect but how she has a whole other story behind her. I also love how this was narrated by her partner, and not her/third person.

There's such a fine beauty to this one-shot, and it's hard to describe. You did such an amazing job. :D