Scene Queen and Drama King - Comments

I do like this. It's very cutesy and different. I like the fact that she's scene because I have quite a lot of scene friends and I really enjoy the culture. Also, a good rave is always nice. I happen to take a liking to dub step and do find myself listening to it occasionally. I also like the fact that you transformed Louis at the end. Have you seen the punk direction edits? I imagined him to look like that.

A side note: the picture of Louis with his drama club, ohmygod he's so cute, laying across the table like he owns the place! That's just so awesome.

Great job!

My candy bowl brought me here and I'm glad it did! This was a really good story like the other one I commented on, are you a professional writer or something? That probably seems like a weird question but you are ridiculously good. I normally don't like 1D fanfics but yours are really good

Here from Candy Bowl! :)
Let me start off by saying I love the title! And I also love how you have a scene queen with Louis, and then actually have them remember each other from drama class!
Like said in the comment below, the chapter titles are really intriguing! Its simple, but still drags me in! I was hooked to your story!
Anyway, good job overall! Loving it <3

Chapter One: I love the chapter title. It's simple yet it speaks volumes. The first paragraph really resonates with me because that's exactly how the fans would respond. I feel like it's how they should respond if a breakup happened. I'm reading this Post-Payzer split and I know for a fact it's how the fans are reacting right now.

*sigh* the Larry Conundrum. Honestly, I love that you're writing this while all of this is happening right now. All the 'fans' who ship Larry are flipping out because of what's happening between Eleanor and Louis. I love this.

The subtle details that you write are so lovely. The idea of a train ride instead of a Lambo is awesome.

The emotion in this story, when he's sitting in Starbucks looking at the pictures of him and Eleanor is truly heartbreaking. It feels so real and so natural for someone to do that.

I really love Shea's character .She's so sweet sounding and she's so nice to Louis when he can't remember her name. Their relationship is so calm in the first chapter. I love Shea's little backstory! it was really beautiful and really well thought out!

Chapter Two: Starting off the chapter, the chapter title is really good. I love it. I love how sassy Shea is while she’s with Louis. I don’t think I would have expected it to be so matching. I love how you describe Doncaster as so small that everyone knows each other’s secrets. It makes me wonder how small Doncaster actually is, you know?

The part of Louis telling her that he’s taking her out for dinner with the other boys is fun :) I love the idea a lot. I love how she feels like she’s so mundane compared to the five sex gods. It makes me laugh a lot because that’s exactly what they are. Sex gods.

I adore how blunt Harry is. It’s really funny because it seems like something he’d do, you know? I feel so badly for Shea when she’s in the bathroom with the other girls. It’s like, oh my goodness how could they say something like that about another girl even if she’s not around? It’s awful what people say.

Their conversation in the car. Oh my goodness, I can’t even right now. How upset Shea is about everything and how confused Louis is just crazy.

I really can’t say enough for how much I love this short story. We entered into the same contest and I honestly hope you do better than me because this story is genius. I love how in the end, it’s the simple action of just of holding hands brings them together. I really do love this and I sincerely hope you win!

First of all, I really liked the layout, especially the gif. Your grammar was amazing, and I didn't find any mistakes at all. You had me scrolling down the page for more, and I was oohing and awwing at some parts. I loved how you ended the story with a sweet little notion as holding hands and watching the sun come up. It was a beautifully written story!!

Layout/Grammar

Okay! Starting off with the boring stuff: the layout and grammar. The layout was just perfect - easy to read, simple, a little subtle, and overall fitting to the concept of the story. I had no trouble reading it at all! As for the grammar, it wasn't flawless, but it was pretty great. I rarely read stories that have flawless grammar anyway, but I only saw a few misspellings or just grammar errors.

Everything else!

The plot and characters were just amazing together. I think the aspect of a unique character was played very well, and I admire that it was more of a scene girl with a spontaneous personality, because that's not shown often in One Direction stories.
I can't say too much about the plot - since it was cliche, of course! :) It was a wonderful love story. Even though the character was original, I love how you incorporated realistic things in them - like how Shea found out about him being famous and all of that.
But, I do have a little constructive criticism. I don't know if you made it clear enough as to why he kept his secret from her. I didn't really understand that, even in their conversation at the end, except for the fact that he wanted to be normal to her. I think if there was a more substantial reason, it would've been really clear to me.
Also, the characters' descriptions were lovely - but it seemed like there wasn't any other description. I had a hard time picturing scenes in my mind, except for what my imagination came up with.

Overall, this is a great story. You represented the "cliche but original" concept well. :)

Louis as a scene kid with eyeliner actually sounds pretty attractive, not gonna lie.

But, this was fab and I loved it so much okay.

Feel free to bug me whenever you like. This is awesome. I'm addicted already.

Oooo this is really good! :D

This is good, update!!

I really love the edits you've made :) This is turning out splendiddddd... <3