Ignite - Comments

OMG, wow. Holy cow. I had to read the last two paragraphs at least three times to comprehend what is going on. I'm still confused about the ending, but at the same time, I'm very glad that you left it at that. I love how there is a history between the narrator and this guy, but at the same time you didn't elaborate what the history was, it was just that the guy betrayed her. Wow, I think you interpreted the song lyrics very well, it is something I've never imagined would happen from the song, seriously. Amazing writer you are!

This is for Mibba Halloween. I wasn't sure which story to read, so I clicked on this one. I didn't know it was this short, but I do like it. The first sentence is just fabulous. Do you realise what was running through my mind when I read that? I got anxious. I wanted to know why she was doing that as soon as possible. I like that this isn't too long, but it's the perfect length for me to understand what's going on. I'm not entirely sure what happened at the end, possibly because I didn't listen to the song? El mentioned a bit about Brandon burning half of her town down. The banner also made me come to the conclusion that Brandon can shoot fire from his hands, or has some ability with magic? Gah! Is this what you were going for or not? Whether I fully understand what happened or not, this was pretty good. Excellent job!

This is for Mibba Halloween. I wasn't sure which story to read, so I clicked on this one. I didn't know it was this short, but I do like it. The first sentence is just fabulous. Do you realise what was running through my mind when I read that? I got anxious. I wanted to know why she was doing that as soon as possible. I like that this isn't too long, but it's the perfect length for me to understand what's going on. I'm not entirely sure what happened at the end, possibly because I didn't listen to the song? El mentioned a bit about Brandon burning half of her town down. The banner also made me come to the conclusion that Brandon can shoot fire from his hands, or has some ability with magic? Gah! Is this what you were going for or not? Whether I fully understand what happened or not, this was pretty good. Excellent job!

I quite liked this too!
Though I'm not certain what's happening,
I get a lot of tension.
Though only thing I can think of is that using a character's name in every bit of dialogue can sound unnatural and weaken the writing.
Overall, I can tell you're a wonderful writer.