Seasons Change But People Don't - Comments

Hello,
Your story is very interesting, I found it lovely. I really like the title, although to be a little more formal I suggest putting a period instead of the "but" in your title (Seasons Change. People Don't). It seems more thought provoking, it also makes it a statement, then again this is just an opinion.

I love the third person, I find it so hard to write in this tense because you really need that story teller gift, and here you seem to have it. Your plot is wonderful, although not really my cup of tea. Everyone has their styles, and I think yours is great, so, please don't get me wrong.

Your imagery is beautiful, and I love your sentence structure, very nice fluidity. Great story.

Hey there, lovely writer!

[Comment Swap]

Can I just say, first and foremost, that this was a beautiful beginning - a great start to a (hopefully) long series! :)
A few minor spelling mistakes (eg: perhaps change the “stood” to “standing” to fit with the rest of the context!) but apart from that, your way of writing with just enough descriptive’s drew me in! As I’m sure was the case with many others!! :) I enjoyed the mystery of it all and the past that is obviously making a come-back! ;)

You are just getting started, and I’m eager to see where this goes!
Keep this up, love!

x

I'm really glad comment swap brought me here.

The summary did its job perfectly, and I was hooked from the start.

The grammar is off in places, mostly the very beginning. It's a simple fix, just capitalizing the "I" in "it". It's not that big of a deal, honestly, but people are quick to judge stories by even the simplest grammatical errors.

I adore your writing style. You add detail where it's needed, and withhold just enough at the right points to keep people intrigued.

I love the way you portrayed Hayley's family when she arrived home. You showcased each character's personality, and kept a realistic family dynamic. It's irritating to read about families that instantly start grilling somebody on why they left and about how they were worried sick. You kept it sweet, and spot on. Great job. :)

Comment swap: First thing, I think the summary should have a bit more to do with the story, and you need to work on your grammar a bit in the beginning. Stories should always be properly capitalized and punctuated. Not trying to be a dick.

Now, to the story itself. This lacks detail but in an artistic way. It is kind of intriguing, but then again, I think it would talk a little more to pull in subscribers. The layout is really nice for it though, it fits wells. Sorry if I sounded rude :b