For Rent - Comments

Sweetie comment:

This is interesting. It drew my attention from the beginning of the prologue with how it opened. That's a good thing because even though nothing has happened yet in the story, there's something in it which clutches onto the attention of the reader and drags them along to read more of it. It could be at how simple and straightforward it's gone into the story, or how there's a hook in the story of what did she get that makes the reader want to carry on. But either way there's a good hook in the story and it's doing its job.

Going from the prologue, I can see the connection to the title which I love. The prologue also sets us up for a good story, and despite not exactly being introduced to the characters properly, it gives the feel that the one who is speaking is going to be one that is fairly well written and actually has character rather than just bland. I can't say much more about your characters until they've actually been introduced in the story.

Generally speaking, though, this has a good start and I genuinely believe that this will be such a good story once more has been written for it. The start sets it up beautifully and I'm actually looking forward to it being continued.

@ usagi no yousei
Hehe, thanks for the comment. Oh yes, I know it isn't. The other layout I had kind of spazzed out on me so I had to put this one until I'm done fixing the other. :)

Girl, you should continue this! I mean, the mustache is awesome and all but I feel like the layout isn't connected to the story.

That's all I have to say for now. Good luck! :D May the powers of all EXO members be with you!