Anything for Mauricio - Comments

thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed, if i think of a great idea i'll make mauricio older to where he knows about his father and what he's done!

Ah nice ending. It's good that she gets to keep Mauricio :)

Haha thanks again :) what would i have done without you?

Ah, you're welcome :)

Ooh... a custody battle. I hope Iara gets full custody too. Aren sounds like a terrible father :/ Great updates and it's great to see that you've spaced things out. :D

thank you :) i cannot say thank you enough, you've just helped me out soooo much! I'll take your advice and i really appreciate it! You've just inspired me to keep writing :) i can't say enough thanks, i'm so serious, lol. I appreciate your help and hope you will continue to read and enjoy my story, don't be afraid to continue helping me correct my errors either, i appreciate it so very very very much <3 you're my fave reader :))

Hello! I hope you don't mind. Was flipping through the story pages and noticed yours. You have an original plot going on here. It's not part of the more popular genres, honestly, but I like it.

Anyway, before I prattle on, I'd prolly suggest a story layout. There are heaps you can use that are premade that Mibba has made public, or you could make one for yourself if you'd like. Custom layouts often attract more readers but that's really, just a suggestion.

Content
You have strong dialogue going on here. Jumped straight into the action too. Teamed with the description (short summary), I can't say that I'm confused as to where the story is going. It's clear to read, and understandable and I think that for a first story (like you mentioned), it's pretty well done. Great spelling and grammar work too :)

However, there is something I'd like to point out. Mibba has rules about chapters that need writers to space out their chapters into several paragraphs, instead of posting the entire chapter together as just one paragraph. Perhaps, you could have a break at the dialogues?

Maybe like:

I ran to my mom's car and screamed for her to drive.

"Where? Where?" was what she said.

"Em qualquer lugar! Vamos embora, mãe!" (translation: anywhere! Let's just go, mom!) I said.

Also, when you have bilingual characters, it's somehow nicer to have the translations in the author's note, instead of in the body. Bracketing the translation like that kind of messes the tone up for a bit and formalizes the story just when the action has started.

It's also against Mibba rules to post author's notes (like you did with the last chapter) as chapters. I'd suggest changing that before a reader reports you.

Honestly, I'd really like to see where you're going with this. I like the content so far, and I like how you made Iara's character out. She's original, and real and clearly cares for Mauricio.

I'm going to subscribe and hope that you continue, despite the writer's block. You're a talented writer.

(Also, I hope that I didn't offend you or anything in any way.)