September 11th, 2012 at 09:48pm
I like this :) Hogwarts to Hunger Games? Epic coolness. I shall be subscribing. I like your writing style in the beginning and middle but in the end, Katrina's appearance is a bit questionable. Are you saying that Katrina was always in the crowd but as someone else or did she just pop up randomly? Because if she did, then somebody should have screamed or something. Also perhaps you should have made her appear a few times before they started calling names, because 'felt I had to do something.' seems kind of awkward. Why did Katrina feel the need to do something for a little girl who she never met? Also Katrina seems a little bit too familiar to how the hunger games world works for a newcomer. How does she know to volunteer? How does she know to state her age as well?
Other than those few details the story is great. (Oh and it's Koi fish not Quoi fish. Quoi means 'what' in french.)
As you can probably tell I wrote these at different part of the day! haha so I kinda lost the flow haha!! next chapter will be epic-er??? I PROMISE!!!!