Found in Translation - Comments

... I'm gonna be honest... I have never actually watched doctor who. I was sent from comment swap. I really like the story idea, but I agree with Toxic... Anytime a fandom does something like this someone gets pissed and I can't stand when two people from something are put together in a way they are never meant to be. I really like the idea, but it would be better put in as a diffrent setting. I am sorry but this is my opinion

Okay so I tried my hardest to read this, but I honestly could not get myself to. I love Doctor Who more than anything, but I was instantly uncomfortable at the thought of Rory and the Doctor. I have nothing against slash, nothing at all, but this is just a pairing I cannot work with. I feel really bad that I couldn't read this, and I'm sure it's great, but I came here from Comment Swap so I have to leave a comment.

Comment Swap brought me here.

And I'm so glad that it did. Ugh. Can I just point out that I'm a sucker for Doctor Who? It doesn't bother me in the slightest if it's an OTP, slash, or an original character. It's Doctor Who for Nirvana's sake!

But I would like to point out a few things. When I was recommended this, I grew a bit iffy because the title wasn't capitalized correctly and when I clicked on the first chapter, the paragraphs weren't double-spaced. Usually this can jumble sentence's in a reader's mind and cause them give up. I know some prefer for paragraphs to be indented, but double-space mostly works here to make things to be read clearly because of the lack I pointed out before.

Oh, and it should be "You," he blurted,.

This story is wonderful. Descriptions: wonderful. My heart goes out to Rory; I can almost feel his internal dilemma. How would one feel when you simply can't communicate your raging feelings towards the person right before you? Me personally, I would give up. But Rory took the initiative of physical contact that can be understood ninety-eight percent of the time. Overall, I'm hooked.

"You," he blurted, his mind frantically racing to find a plausible way to recover. Instead, his mind failed him, leaving his mouth agape.

"Well, thank you, Rory Williams. I am quite a thought, I suppose." The Doctor said more for himself, than Rory.

That made me chuckle a whole lot.

Comment swap had brought me here, and even though this isn't the sort of story I'd usually read, I still loved it. You are an amazing writer, and this is written beautifully. I can't see any mistakes or error, which is good. Your description is wonderful, I love how short and simple it is, it makes it sweeter. And overall it's a lovely story.

Keep up the good work! (: x x x

Comment swap sent me here.

The first thing I'd do (I like to nitpick, sorry) is correctly capitalise the title. Sometimes that can turn people away.

As far as the writing goes, I really did enjoy this. Your description is flawless, and you have a really lovely story here. Like a few others, I think the last line is beautiful, and it just feels so powerful, just a great end. I found no spelling errors, and I only really have one issue with the grammar side of things, which I'll explain below. I love the way that you portray Rory and the Doctor, and I think it's altogether adorable. My favourite line has to be There was enough to fill volumes of books, enough for a library of fantastic and painful tales with humans and creatures otherwise. I don't know what it is, that line is just genius.

Onto the slight issues I have. Firstly, you'd be better to double-space your photographs. It isn't even an issue with the writing, just more of a formatting issue. It can be quite difficult to read at times because you have everything written as one big block of text, almost. Second thing is a minor grammar issue, and you aren't even doing it all the time. When you write "You." He blurted, it should actually be You," he blurted. You should usually use a comma at the end of speech, and don't capitalise the letter of the word following (he, she, it, etc.), unless it's a name.

Aside from the niggles (which, as I said, aren't even that big a deal), I think this is lovely. It's a really adorable, everything flows really nice, and your description is lovely. Keep it up! :)

Really beautiful. Short and sweet. I love how the title tied in with the last line, He had found what he needed. Language between him and the Doctor. I love the title full stop. It's very clever.

I found no errors, but I feel as though, even if there were any, I wouldn't have picked up on them because your writing flows so fluidly. I love not having to pause and reread and ponder over a line. I want to just read for the enjoyment of it. That's exactly how I felt about this piece.

Keep writing! xx

@ Skyscraper
So that comment wasn‘t good enough. Fine then Mibba. -_- I enjoyed how this story was a one shot, it kept it it short and simple, which was perfect for it. The descrption was great also, which I enjoy. It was very good. The no summary dosn‘t help, but if you acually click on the chapter, you‘ll enjoy it. Good job writting it!

That good enough Mibba? -_-

(Comment Swap)

This was an intersting story. I didn‘t notice any mistakes while reading and the way you wrote it was great. I did like it, you‘re a good writer. :)

Well I never expected this.This is quite different from what I normally read but I can't wait to read the next chapter

Comment Swap bought me here & I'm glad it did.

It's not my cup of tea but I really enjoyed it (:
By that, I mean that your story is interesting and well-written enough for me to overlook mistakes. You see, there are some stories that just bores others and I'm glad to say that your story really held my attention (:

I like the part where you said "It was stunning and beautiful and it was their moment." and how you connected all the sentimental lines to their differences and expressing of emotions and thoughts.

Good job! (:

the first chapter was sooo good it gripped me in already! I'll probably subscribe when you finish the second chapter! So good luck on your future comments because it think it was an amazing read! and if you could let me know what you think of my book Into the Redwoods We Go that would be sweet! :) And let me know what you think!