Comment swap! It does look like this story needs comments. I haven't read the first two stories that go with this one, but I love a good post-apocalyptic story, and this looks like a good one.
I like how you introduced many things through the thoughts of Madeline, instead of stating directly, "this is where she was and this is where she went...the end" because the words above would not have made for a very exciting story.
I almost admire people who can actually write a short story and draw it to a close (or even a good cliffhanger) within less than what, 2,000 words?
There were a few errors, like in the second paragraph "...the Mall was less than a shadow of it former glory." I think it should be "its" instead of "it." And maybe a period at the end of the very last sentence (I'm just being nit-picky, aren't I? I've probably got the exactly same errors in every one of my stories).
Anyway, very neat story, although I would be interested to read more about what happens to Madeline.
I like how you introduced many things through the thoughts of Madeline, instead of stating directly, "this is where she was and this is where she went...the end" because the words above would not have made for a very exciting story.
I almost admire people who can actually write a short story and draw it to a close (or even a good cliffhanger) within less than what, 2,000 words?
There were a few errors, like in the second paragraph "...the Mall was less than a shadow of it former glory." I think it should be "its" instead of "it." And maybe a period at the end of the very last sentence (I'm just being nit-picky, aren't I? I've probably got the exactly same errors in every one of my stories).
Anyway, very neat story, although I would be interested to read more about what happens to Madeline.