Iron Will - Comments

Hiatus :( and of course I notice that AFTER I read what is already written...

On the plus side.... That last GIF you posted is my absolute favorite scene.

Hello,
You commented on my Valentines Blog on Valentines day of course and I'm sorry that I haven't gotten to your stories sooner. I will start by saying that I am a big fan of Tony Stark. Anyway, onto the content then.
One
I will admit, I'm not one to normally read stories with sex scenes in them mainly because they happen to be so worn out and rather...well undetailed? But I will admit, as graphic as this was, I could tell that you had Tony Stark on key. I actually absolutely love this. It's like a guilty pleasure almost. You are an amazing writer. I don't think I've enjoyed reading a sex scene at any point in my life up until now.

I'm here to deliver a Valentines treat!

I've already commented on this once before, so I don't know how much else I'll be able to add. I haven't read the last few chapters, so I'll comment on those.

I still adore Peyton as a character. She's really well-written and doesn't come across as a Mary-Sue, which is becoming something of an unusual occurrence in a lot of writing nowadays. She has a lot of depth already, and I feel like I know her just from reading through the first few chapters. I'm glad that we finally see Tony as well (he's my second-favourite Avenger ), and you're doing a great job of staying true to his character so far. Sleepy Tony is amusing and just exactly how I would expect him to be at that time in the morning. The fact that he can't remember Peyton's name is absolutely hilarious to me.

Your plot is slowly but surely shaping up as well. You've let little slip so far, which is great, it keeps the reader hanging on. I really like the tension that you created between Peyton and Tony in the last part of the most recent chapter. It makes me think that something might happen between them soon.

Overall, I'm still really impressed by this.Your descriptiona nd grammar are flawless, your characters are still very real and I'm even more interested in the plot than I was the last time. Definitely subscribing so I can find out what happens.

I'm not really well-educated with the Avengers, but I do love Iron Man. And me being the youngster I am, I skimmed a bit through the first chapter but I got the gist of Tony's personality and it did make me laugh when he called her Charlene and not Charlotte.

I also liked Peyton since she and I have both a common interest in wanting to be a journalist. I felt bad for her with the clock tower incident, that's happened to me too many times to count. And I was so excited for her when she got the promotion from her professor and everything. I'm excited for when Tony comes in and how she deals with his asshole personality, because Peyton seems like the girl who takes no crap.

It was really good and the details were nice, great job!

I won't lie, I'm not a huge fan of really intense explicit sex scenes and talking dirty, so it was kind of awkward reading the first chapter (and I'll admit to skimming through, sorry) but I really liked the ending of the chapter. I've seen both Iron Man and The Avengers, so I think you perfectly captured Tony's personality within just the first chapter. From where he gets the woman's name wrong to the end of the chapter, I could literally see that being in one of the movies.

In the beginning of the second chapter, I'm glad you didn't go into the minute details about the clothing Peyton picks. There's just enough to provide an example of saying she's extremely late without just saying she's late. I had to laugh at the tower clock part. I felt so bad for Peyton, and when she overhears the other students, I felt my own stomach drop like 'oh shit' with her XD And all that, just to sit bored in Journalism hah. I'm going to agree with everybody dies; here and say you've made me fall in love with Peyton's character within her first chapter. And I like how you don't have the whole world 'out to get her', you know? There's a good balance, between the alarm clock mishap and her getting an awesome promotion from a professor that sees the potential in her. To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan on the closing sentence, just because it's an omnipresent observation and not one of Peyton's own thoughts. You know what? never mind, scratch that. I just re-read it and it makes more sense now.

The only problem I see within chapter three is that you're basically rehashing everything that Peyton's professor told her in the previous chapter. Besides the fact that it would be recommended to interview the person she's staying with, everything else is the same. I would suggest trying to condense the information in the third chapter, almost like what a conclusion at the end of an essay does. I also liked Peyton's reaction when she finds out it's Tony Stark she will be writing about. I was expecting it to be outright distaste actually, so it was a good twist for me. I can't wait until she finally gets to know Tony. XD I can understand why she is starting to have some reservations on writing about him, because the article can make or break her chance at her dream career.

The start of chapter four introduces the fact that Peyton has a job, and I'm actually quite thankful you waited until this chapter to introduce it. If you had introduced it last chapter, it could have felt that you were trying to load it down with basic character information, and it's good that you're spacing out the amount of info revealed. I'm actually more excited to learn more about Peyton now. I can tell Tony is getting on her nerves now, calling her Hayden and assuming she wants sex. I love how both of their characters interact together, with Pepper refereeing, and cleaning up everything Tony says so Peyton won't be offended.

Okay, I literally went 'oh god XO' when I read about Peyton walking in on the sex. The poor girl just can't get a break XD And I'm gathering that this is just one of the many catalysts that will keep Tony engraved into her mind ;) Poor girl, I wouldn't want to face anyone I walked in on either. Again, all I can say is that I love their chemistry together. I laughed out loud when she was thinking 'is he for real?' and Tony's snark comment about the other night. and their brief exchange of quick words, you can tell immediately how their relationship is developing at the moment. And Peyton's opinion for that matter. I knew it wouldn't be long until her blood was boiling ^.^

Overall, I really, really enjoyed these few chapters of Iron Will. The characters are portrayed perfectly, your writing style is so clean and fluid that everything just flows and, I don't even know what else to say. I'm definitely sticking around to see how this is going to pan out for Tony and Peyton, and I'm off to check out some of your other stories as well :)

I'm not a very big fan of the avengers so I can't say much for your Mars Bar. Sorry T^T

I'm here to deliver your Halloween treat!

I am a MASSIVE Avengers/Iron Man (even though Hawkeye is my boy) fan, so you've already managed to get me to love this, haha! I loved the layout, the gif was pretty cool.

Your description and writing are pretty much flawless, I couldn't see any issues with grammar and spelling as I was reading. Your sentences flow together well, and like I said, you use really good and accurate descriptions to paint a picture in the reader's head.

I LOVE Payton as a character! I laughed pretty much the whole way through chapter two, although “Hey, did you hear?” A random student said to another as they walked by. “The clock tower’s not working right and is running about ten minutes behind!” had to be my favourite line EVER.

You're doing a really good job on this, so well done, and keep up the good work! :)

Candy Bowl:

First off I'm soo sorry it took me forever and a day to read and comment on this. I've been so busy with classes in college and keeping up with my story requests.

Anyway I like the story so far. Peyton seems like me, that is I want to be a Journalist too. As I read ch. 2 I was smiling the entire time Peyton said she would do anything to be a Journalist. I feel like I would do the same thing.

The first chapter actually helped me get an image of just what type of person Tony is. No worries, I thought it was funny at the end. XD

Anyway my conclusion:

I'm enjoying this. You have a way of drawing the reader in and to continue reading. Keep on writing! :D

I'm just now sitting down to reading the second chapter and I must say, I'm enjoying Peyton's personality. She reminds me of me...being late to class of course. But I'm digressing now. I loved this chapter. It was slightly less funny then the previous chapter, but it was still entertaining. I love how you introduced Peyton and jumped right to her getting nominated to do the job for the LA Times. Your descriptions flow so well and I'm totally loving your use of vocabulary. I shall read the third chapter soon. :)

Bye for now!
-Hina

Hot damn! What a way to start a story not going to lie, who knew the bitched loved to be smacked? was my personal favorite sentence. I’ve never even seen Iron Man or the Avengers xD So this was a bit different to read. But I did subscribe. I don’t honestly know what to say. You’re such a good writer and I can’t even think about trying to give you advice, because if anyone were to give advice, it would be you. Excellent job so far! I don’t know if anything is going to happen between Peyton and Tony, but I can only imagine something will. I can’t wait for an update :D

First off, let me say I'm honestly not really into Iron Man and the Avengers and all that but, I quite enjoyed what I read. Your writing is amazing. You're great at describing things--people and surroundings--without describing too much unnecessarily. I really like the concept of the story and I think it's pretty unique, if you ask me. The way you wrote everything, it all really flowed together well which I liked. Oh and your sex scene was good, haha. I've read my fair share of painstakingly awkward sex scenes but yours was very Well written, much like the entirety of the story. :)

Let me just start by saying that I love The Avengers. And I absolutely love Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man.
So thank you for bringing this wonderful story to my candy bowl.

I think that so far you've done a really great job at writing the character of Tony Stark. He's kind of an asshole (but in a really charming way) and you've just gotten him perfect.
It was a perfect way to begin a story about Iron Man, as well, because it immediately draws the reader in (at least, it drew me in ) and shows everyone right away the type of guy that Tony Stark is. It's also a very unique plot, and Peyton's character is so great, especially since she's at such odds with Tony's character.

Of course, I love Pepper and J.A.R.V.I.S. You're doing a great job with writing Pepper, as well.
The story is pretty fast-paced, as well, but not in the way that it detracts from the plot. It keeps the reader interested and it's very refreshing.

Definitely subscribing. Update soon!

The first chapter was very graphic and I thought you did an extremely good job writing it, especially since sex scenes are terribly difficult! The end of the chapter was very Tony Stark and I loved it. I was hoping it was Pepper, but I thought it was hilarious that it was just some random girl!
I also thought it was neat how the first two chapters started the same way! I must admit I flipped to the next chapter just to see if it would start with 'Fuck' too

I really like Peyton's character. She seems sweet and kind and the exact opposite of Tony, so I think they will be fun to see interact together.
I was really excited to see Pepper in chapter four! She was so sweet to Peyton and I think the two girls are a lot alike!
I think you're doing really great with this so far and I really hope you keep up with it!

The start was er, how do I put it? Interesting. Although the first part wasn't to my taste, it was detailed and you could say I could practically picture it (cringe) I really enjoyed the second chapter though and I thought it was well written and the dialogue was realistic, which I liked. I also really like your layout and I showed my brother (who's a huge avengers fan) and he loved it. Overall, it was written very well and I like how your writing style is easy to read. Happy Halloween!!!

Lol. All his glory. What a pervert. Seems like he wouldn't mind. I LOL'd at the "I don't like to be handed things" part.

Anyway, great update. I'm wondering when Tony is going to start trying to make a move on her.

Well... That made an impression... I wonder f it will change anything, she might do her best to forget.. But what about Tony and his MIGHT bruised ego. Since she didn't enjoy the view.. Hmm... Good chapter.

This new chapter has me laughing to no end. In the worst possible way. Lol. Poor Peyton, and then having to deal with Tony. I'm definitely feeling sorry for her. I love the way everyone is being portrayed so far, and Peyton is definitely an interesting character so far. :)

I've been on a huge Avengers kick lately so I'm very interested in seeing where this goes. I've subscribed and am looking forward to reading more.

Before I begin my comment on the actual story, I must say, the song, Shoot to Thrill(?) by AC/DC is one of my favs and it actually popped up onto my playlist on my laptop when I started reading this. Your layout is beautiful by the way. Anyways, onto the first chapter.

This chapter is both stimulating and hot. It brought me to tears (from laughing so hard) when Tony got the girl's name wrong and just chose not to care that Pepper might seem him naked in the morning. Ahaha, I am loving this story. This is a truly great start. You described everything so well and I actually imagined this somewhere between the first and second Iron Man movie. But anywho, I'm subbing and reccing this story. :) Thanks for the great read.

I have subscribed and am now commenting.

I absolutely adore this. It's fantastic in very sense of its realistic-ness. Considering it's based around Marvel. Haha. But as you've proven, things still happen and people go about their daily lives without having to face a super villain every hour. Definitely a fan of the realism. :)

I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter.