Sentenced to Hell - Comments

Comment Swap!

Outside of the usual Ronnie Radke fan fics people tend to write, this is pretty interesting but for the first chapter, it wasn’t enough to keep me hooked. I realize that this hasn’t been updated in a fair bit and that’s fine, but going with what the other comments have said, try to do a little research into the area your character will be in, and try to ‘fluff’ your words up with descriptive words – especially when explaining the setting or scenery of your character. Hope this helps with future stories you write!

(Comment Swap)

I'm not a big fan of Ronnie Radke so it was kind of a downer for me on this story. First of all, you could have made a better summary and layout, something to draw the readers in more.

You need to do your research on prisons, I'm from the UK and they will make you get rid of make up for drug purposes and other things like that. Always do your research before writing about a monument or state building.

The context could use alot more imagery and description, how the character looks and thinks whilst or after saying their sentences. You don't want to keep it basic.

@everybody dies;
Thanks for your help. :) I'm not going to lie. I don't know much about prisons but I did do some research. I felt like the makeup wasn't a huge deal. It just makes it a little eerie with aged makeup. Wow! Acceptatian is such a stupid mistake! haha. I'm sure that's not even a real word. I'm well aware of the Lead part. That it shouldn't be capitalized. Just a little mistake.

Thanks for your kind comments. Because no one is quite sure as to went down, I hope people don't take non-fiction is the complete truth. lol. There is a lot of bs in this. haha

Comment swap sent me here.

I was never the biggest fan of Ronnie Radke (both as a person and a musician), but this seems like it's shaping up to be a nice little story, so I'll put my biases away and read as an original fiction.

The first thing that I noticed was just a little untruth. As far as I'm aware (or in UK prisons anyway), you aren't allowed to wear makeup, and they would wash it off as you went in. Not really important, but I'm really picky when it comes to little details like this. Also, I'm not too sure what a giant dog crate is, so that confused me a little bit. Acceptatian to the law should be exception to the law. Lead guitarist shouldn't be capitalised.

Anyway, after all the negativity, some positive stuff! I really like that you've chosen an interesting storyline. I think everybody knew about his imprisonment (it was well-documented, to say the least), and I've seen plenty of story interpreting what happened in the bar. I haven't seen any, however, that deal with Ronnie after he was put into jail. Your description seems alright (a little bare in places), and aside from the stuff I mentioned above, I couldn't see any spelling or grammar issues. You portray Ronnie very well as a character also, which makes the writing seem all the more real. Keep up the good work! :)

I really like this story so far, I don't know much about Ronnie, I know he was in Escape The Fate but I know him more from Falling In Reverse, I hope you continue very soon, I've subscribed and recommended :)

This is really good... Mmkay, more soon, then? Bye.