What Lies Beneath The Surface - Comments

@ Ronnie Mac
Yeah you misunderstood me. Don't worry I wrote a nice long message explaining what I meant because that little paragraph wasn't sufficient, I knew I would get a bad reaction with out a proper explanation. Maybe your friend can share what I meant? She sent me a lovely message in return! I can't even think of what to reply I am so happy. :)

Dee, as I've already told you in person, I love your story. It's written fantastically and it's not like anything you've written before, I don't think. I think Mr. G will give you a great grade for this.

@ discoveringclouds I'm sorry, but are you trying to blame literature for what a person does or does not do? Almost every one knows what is right or wrong so whether they choose to do something wrong and just so happens to have read something that may have influenced what they've done doesn't make it the author's nor the story's fault. It's that person's fault. On that note, my friend should be able to write whatever she wants without having to worry about what someone does after they've read it.

However, if I've misunderstood you, I'm sorry. I just don't personally think it's okay for anyone to blame real life situations on books and/or other things except for the person who actually did/caused whatever it was.

I'm glad my points will be helpful. I just wanted to point out that stories are yours of course but you are sharing them with others. Who knows what the others feel, perhaps something strange like this will encourage them to do something bad because someone is selfish. Its just wrong to me that one selfish person was destroyed for two others. Doesn't that make everyone evil? I have more to say to explain better but I have a midterm so ill save my thoughts for later. Of course bad things wont automatically stem from this.

I love how you gave such a description for your definition. Its like an essay. Haha.

@ discoveringclouds
thank you for your critique, I shall be sure to use some of your interesting points when re-writing this.
& I did mean specious, I used this description for it though:Johnson defines specious as “1. Showy; pleasing to the view; 2. Plausible; superficially,
not solidly right; striking at first view.” Its eighteenth-century denotation is much the same as
today—“plausible but wrong”—but whereas modern usage puts the emphasis on the wrong part,
eighteenth-century usage emphasized the plausible part. When we call something specious, we
automatically condemn it; eighteenth-century writers would say something was specious, but it
was wrong. Johnson, for instance, is quoted by Boswell: “Such are the specious, but false
arguments for a proposition which always will find numerous advocates.” (seeing as it's set in the 19th century.

well I'm sorry you felt that way about the ending, but I do believe it is MY story, therefore my ending and plot twist. Why would an author create any type of scenario? I don't see how that question matters...The point of my ending wasn't to disgust people or be selfish or full of despair, I'm sorry it did that to you. What I was trying to convey was that Alexandria isn't actually as nice as she seems, she was really only in love with Henry's money, but the story is in HER point of view, so why would she go around thinking of herself as a gold digger? And because it's in HER point of view, her vision is distorted, so everything she sees isn't exactly how it plays out. Of course if I wrote her out being a bitch (like she's supposed to be) no one would feel sad or shocked that she died. The reason Henry and James set up this elaborate plan to kill her, was because she was interfering with THEIR love.

&Who knows maybe some people have read it and do feel inspired by it, just because YOU didn't like it, doesn't mean everyone else didn't either, though I'm sure you aren't the only one who disliked it, I just mean I liked it, my mom liked it (and not just because she's my mom), maybe my English teacher will like it. I kind of feel offended that you dissed my ending like that, you didn't have to say it wasted your time...that was kind of rude.

I feel like you didn't use "by the by" fluidly, and old style writing wouldn't have contractions like don't and it's, it would be it has or it is or its'.
Also perhaps use present tense, so it flows like it's happening as it happens, not before and then suddenly people are talking.

Explain how the house was so natural instead of saying it, or let your character voice it in dialogue. You're the author, you have to use cool descriptions and imagery, right?

Also, do they have bungalows back in the day? I have never heard of a bungalow in the middle of a forest.

Also, it's spacious not specious :)

And don't just tell us it has space all around, describe the open concept and the air streaming around them and the freshness compared to the crowded city.

Your description was really good about the forest.

Omg...your end was so disgusting, I can't believe I wasted all my time reading a story that was going to end like this. Why would you create this type of scenerio? It's full of despair and selfishness. You could have written a nice story and made people who read your tale feel inspired and maybe even write a 19th century tale themselves.