Extra Credit - Comments

Contest Judging Comment: (Everyone contestant starts outwith 50 points) Best Story Ever. I loved the characters even the minor ones like Mugsy and Aqua's drunk guests! And that is very rare. I usually have to find someone to dislike in a story but not this one. All of the characters were very likeable. And thank you so much for not turning this into a romance! I can not tell you how many-I won't start.

Anyway! The originality earns you a 9 out of 10. You would have gotten a 10 out of 10 but the ending of the second chapter got a little bit cliched. It was still great though!
The character relationships gives you a 10 out of 10. The plot/ story line gives you another 10 out of 10! And I just have to say that the way you write is refreshing and fantastic!

Oh and you get bonus points for using the brownie points! So + 10 for comedy, and + 10 for making the receiver of the call, someone other than a significant other.

You also had no grammar and spelling errors so + 5! However you over used one phrase A LOT. "Demanded to know". I have to say that that one sentence began to irk me after seeing in three times. So - 1.

Now you total score is 103 points.
Be sure to check the contest page on Oct 30th to see if you've won!

Ahahaha! Omg Penny had me busting up!
And I love how you write. There was just a really smooth flow to your paragraphs and it really kept my attention.
I loved how Penny thought it was the end of the world and how she decides to get drunk because of a C. If I was her, I'd be getting smashed every night XD
This was a really sweet read and I'm glad that you brought it to my candy bowl! :D
Haha, keep up the awesome writing!!