Swear - Comments

Aside from the fact that it is definitely weird to read something the second person, this is yet another amazing story of yours. I love how you manage to write something that is heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. You have this way with words that makes your stories addicting and so wonderful to read. Keep up the good work!

Hey, here's the candy corn you requested, sorry I'm late :)

I like how you used a different perspective for this story. At first, it was a bit awkward for me to read but as I got deeper into the story, I realized that it fit perfectly with the subject matter and the emotions you were trying to convey. I honestly can't picture it in any other perspective now. As I said before, it helps convey the emotions directly onto the reader and I felt as if I was there, standing in Brendon's shoes listening to Ryan break his heart all over again. I'm actually kind of mad now, Ryan should have never gone and done that, but there would kind of be no story then XD

This is my favorite passage from the story: "You think maybe you've been remembering him wrong." For some reason, I felt like it was a punch in the gut, because now Brandon is realizing that he is looking at Ryan from a different, more vulnerable state. Maybe this is being a bit overdramatic but I see his whole world crashing around him at that point because he's forced to acknowledge the differences from when they were in the band and in a relationship to now. The following line goes hand in hand because I'd feel like shit too if he seems happier out of both relationships. I love how you're able to convey the emotions without even saying something like "You don't remember him smiling much before" and adding a telltale gesture like 'with a frown'.

I like your imagery too, you give just enough detail without going too over the top and the example of Brandon's sweater is perfect to show that.

I'm still a bit unsure about who is the broken hearted here because I always imagined Brendon as the dominant, not the submissive, but given the circumstances that Ryan left Panic, it's necessary.

Anyways, I loved your one shot! I totally think you should take a crack at second person again because you did very well here.

This is so beautiful! It's sad but with the way you write, it makes it bearable and you know that Brendon is better alone.
The layout is amazing, as well!

That's my favorite picture ever. And ALL MY EMOTIONS. The feelings. GAH.

The layout... I can't even. When you wrote about his sweater tickling his nose, I honestly imagined him wearing a purple polka dot sweater.

This is so lovely, the imagery that comes to mind it amazing! I love your writing!

I really liked your layout and banner, I kept referring to the banner as the person your character, Brendon, would see the person he loved. I like how you really captured the emotion Brendon went through in few little words. It's short, you understand the character, and it's sad. I like it, you did an amazing job!

First off, the layout is adorable. I love P!ATD, haven't been listening to them lately though. :')

I feel like this is going to make me really sad. Because Ryan left. That's terrible. Your writing is absolutely beautiful and simple. I love that.

This is so short so I don't have much to say but it was literally breathtaking. I liked it a lot. Amazing job. I'm sorry this isn't of a greater length. :c

@ Alexander Bernadotte
Thank you so much. Your comment means a lot. This story was one of the most difficult things for me to write ever, and not just because of the second person thing. I hate giving things away, and sometimes that means I give too little away. I'm so happy to see that you got it.

lollipop~!

Here’s your Duplo! :D

Truthfully, I’m not a huge fan of Panic! At The Disco – or any fanfiction in general, really – but I’ll admit that this was incredibly, incredibly cute. I think the second person point of view really adds to it, and I rarely ever see/read any stories in second person, so this is definitely a nice touch! This little drabble was too cute; I could definitely feel that anxious little feeling that your main character feels after he slams the door in the other guy’s face, you can tell how scared he is that his boyfriend – the way you describe their relationship makes it seem like they’re boyfriends – would see him as vulnerable. All in all, this ended really well, and even though I didn’t quite know what was going on, I really enjoyed this. (: Great job!

Here from Candy Bowl! :)
So I'm not one for slashes, but this was quite good! I loved how you wrote it, and the layout was good too!

Here from my candy bowl! I really enjoyed this. I've always loved P!ATD and this was really interesting to read. So great job on this!! :D

Hi there(:

I'm always intrigued when people write in second person and do it well. It's definitely interesting take on things, and you did a great job at creating the character such a short piece.

The writing is also very good. The dialogue flows nicely and is written correctly (huzzah!). You did a great job at putting a lot of emotion and feeling into the, "I care," instead of the platitude of "I love you," or something.

As I mentioned earlier, you do a great job at characterizing our other leading man well too. We get a good vibe from his incessant knocking on the door, his smiling and his whole persona.

Nice job and happy writing!

xxx Bee