First off, I love your writing style. I like short oneshots that have a lot of imagery in them and the imagery in here is just awesome. I love all the naturalistic metaphors, especially when you contrast them, or well, it feels like contrasting them to me, like this passage: She was a winter, autumn, spring and summer. She was nature and nature was her.
I'm also gonna back up here a bit and say that it was good how you started it off with a short and sweet sentence that is able to interest the reader and pull them in.
Good God, there are so many quotes I would like to pull from this story to tell you how much I liked them XD I love how you relate Lola to a siren and describe here eyes like fresh pools of water, and how you bring in examples of men that have fallen for her and have died for her.
The twist you put in there was interesting as well, when you reveal that this story is being told by a witness at the scene of her burning. I was not expecting that. But does that mean did he/she die as well? I also like how you actually made her a witch, and not some poor innocent girl men couldn't have so they killed her out of spite and jealousy.
My favorite passage out of this story is definitely: They said that when she screamed, birds of every imaginable size and colour, rose from the forests and darkened the sky with their wings. I can't very well quote the whole paragraph but the imagery is very clear here, I can see the birds rising from the forest in my head and I can feel the earth shifting, like Lola is a part of the earth and animals herself.
I feel that the ending is perfect, where Lola exacts her revenge on the people who murdered her. It's fitting to the story, and again, I feel as though she becomes one with the animals and nature through her death.
Golden brown skin? Yesss! You don't know how happy I am that this isn't another story about a ~beautiful pale girl~. It's different and your metaphors are amazing and I loved every inch of this. You're amazing <3
I'm also gonna back up here a bit and say that it was good how you started it off with a short and sweet sentence that is able to interest the reader and pull them in.
Good God, there are so many quotes I would like to pull from this story to tell you how much I liked them XD I love how you relate Lola to a siren and describe here eyes like fresh pools of water, and how you bring in examples of men that have fallen for her and have died for her.
The twist you put in there was interesting as well, when you reveal that this story is being told by a witness at the scene of her burning. I was not expecting that. But does that mean did he/she die as well? I also like how you actually made her a witch, and not some poor innocent girl men couldn't have so they killed her out of spite and jealousy.
My favorite passage out of this story is definitely: They said that when she screamed, birds of every imaginable size and colour, rose from the forests and darkened the sky with their wings. I can't very well quote the whole paragraph but the imagery is very clear here, I can see the birds rising from the forest in my head and I can feel the earth shifting, like Lola is a part of the earth and animals herself.
I feel that the ending is perfect, where Lola exacts her revenge on the people who murdered her. It's fitting to the story, and again, I feel as though she becomes one with the animals and nature through her death.
Excellent job! I loved it!